Districted

Sayonara Silver Spring

2009-09-07T01:05:00.002-04:00

Well folks, I'm closing up shop here. I'm moving away to Japan for a year. No, not to teach; done that already. This go-around I'll be learning the language full time.

I'll miss the District, with its wobbly Metro system, its bike-car tension, and its 99% population of DC-haters. I never hated DC, though I never loved it as a place to live.

I'll miss Silver Spring, too. I don't know how you can hate Silver Spring, although many turn their noses up at it. It's got tons of downtown stuff to do, great bus & Metro access, the AFI, the Quarry House, the Piratz Bar... about the only thing it's missing is a good sushi restaurant. But it's not yuppie-central, either. 10 years ago you would have smelled urine on the sidewalks. Do the Springhaters want to get back to that? Silver Spring still has a lot of community, life, and spirit; sorry if you have to walk up & down Georgia a bit to find it.

I'll miss this blog, too. After I got hit by a car and got laid up for a while, my friends all said, "Why aren't you blogging?" Well, what was I going to blog about? How the pillows aren't propping my leg up properly that day? (I'm walking now, but I'm far from all better.) I enjoyed writing here and on my coblogger's blog Hatandcoat, but it's time to shutter this one up for a while. I'll be back in a year or so, so until then...

...follow my new blog! http://brokentokyo.blogspot.com/

Hedwig and the Angry Inch

2009-06-11T23:04:00.003-04:00

Hedwig
I just saw Hedwig and the Angry Inch, performed live at the Warehouse on 7th Street NW. It's only showing for a couple more nights, so see it while you can.

I'm not going to write a review of it; that's someone else's job tonight. In general, though, it was a lot better than I had thought it was going to be. I knew nothing of the story, I only knew that some people compared it to Rocky Horror. What an inapt comparison. Might as well say anything with gender issues, glam sensibilities, and rocking songs is like Rocky Horror.

The beauty of the show is in the breakdown. Hedwig floundering and at a loss. That's when real feeling comes out.

Anyway, I'm off to study how bodies break down polysaccharides.

(Oh, and did you know I'm going to Japan?)

As Long As We're Being Honest...

2009-05-29T12:05:00.003-04:00

As Long As We're Being Honest...
My coblogger has erupted back onto the blogging scene, pulling me out of nonblogging slumber, with an insightful examination of drivers' annoyance toward bikers.

Good. Because I'll tell you, when I'm on my bike, following the laws on the road, I hope I annoy as many drivers as possible.

Part of it is retaliation. When a convertible speeds dangerously close past me, just to stop at the red light, I truly hope the sight of me slowly biking my way past him to the light gets his blood pressure skyrocketing. When a bus driver plays leapfrog with me, swerving around on my left just to stop short in front of me at a stop, I hope she gets angry with me when I get in front of her in the middle of the right lane (as I have the right to do if necessary to my safety).

(I don't go out of my way to be a d**k to drivers. I don't want them to get so mad as to try and kill me. Just following the laws is enough to peeve them, but I do try and get out of the way of madmen.)

Part of it is awareness. If drivers are annoyed at me on my bike now, there's the chance that they'll be more aware of bikers in the future. They might not like it, but too bad. As Hatandcoat pointed out, the law says we share the road. And if that means that cars have to go 15 mph in a 35 mph zone, good. I'm glad to slow the a-holes down.

Drivers' first reaction to me might be annoyance across the board, but, even though I relish their annoyance, I hope my sensible biking scores some points for me and fellow bikers. I'm with drivers on the scofflaw-biker disdain. When a biker zips past me through a red light, I think, "What are you doing?" I hope that drivers see me on the road, get annoyed, but then realize that I'm just trying to follow the rules.

Also, Hatandcoat, you really shouldn't be driving in the city. Don't you know DC is driver-unfriendly? Of course, I'm not opposed to you driving when you're taking me home at midnight in a torrential downpour. But when it doesn't benefit ME, please refrain from getting behind the wheel. Your blood pressure will thank me.

There's, like, no shame in the occasional repost?

2009-05-29T10:57:00.005-04:00

I know Aak will at least appreciate the shirt in this clip (note, Mos Def hosts the show, hahaha...http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/2008/02/17/69-mos-def/):

Gf sent me this clip because I love the scene in Family Guy so much (I couldn't find the embed code): http://www.trilulilu.ro/mihai_m/1e6ed8ca92ff06?video_google_com.

Counterpoint

2009-05-28T16:44:00.002-04:00

I have a confession to make, though it will make an enemy of my co-blogger: I hate sharing the road with bikers.

I see why I must share the road with them. I see that it is the law. I agree with it. I plan on buying a bike and making it my transportation. I'm on board in principle.

But say I'm traveling uphill behind a biker on a narrow road:

1) Oh my GOD, I don't have the patience for it. Every human alive hates being stuck behind old people - probably other old people too. Same deal here, though I know people who will tell me in this situation that I need to learn patience and respect. Whatever, my blood pressure sky rockets when I have to go 15 mph in a 35 zone, and that's not going to change.

2) I feel like I'm on the brink of vehicular manslaughter if I turn 1 degree to the side. I want this man in his spandex beside me to live a full, long life, but if I hit a pothole then nick his back tire it's over. The situation puts me on edge and I find myself getting mad at the biker. I talk myself down but I can't help it. When I do finally pass him I gun the engine because I don't know how much time I'll have.

Then, when I'm at the light and I see a him creeping up in my rear view mirror, the whole time I'm thinking "go, go, go!!! Don't let him catch up!" Then if there's a little bit of stop and go for a while, then it's: "he's in my blind spot, oh wait, no he isn't - oh wait, he - oh, he's next to me, oh, blind spot...DAMN BIKERS!!!"

I'm sorry, Aak, if this post offends you. But, hey, if you can't speak from your heart in your own blog where can you? ;)

Tennessee Williams in a Bar.

2009-04-18T03:10:00.000-04:00

Go see it.

We're Going Streaking!

2009-04-15T13:59:00.002-04:00

I was walking to the Rosslyn Metro station the other day. It was raining. I was on the phone, so my vision was pointed slightly downward (it prob. would've been anyway), and I didn't see the woman fall on the ground in front of me. I almost tripped over her at the corner of Wilson and Lynn.

"Are you okay? Would you like some help?" I said.

"NO!" She snapped.

Then the same response to the nearby building security guard and I thought, ok maybe she's embarrassed or self reliant. I leave her alone and go to cross Wilson.

I look back about halfway and look that she has started crossing Lynn and fell again about halfway through. She looked frustrated and upset, and I figured maybe it had to do with her ankle length dress tripping her. She got up, walked to the curb, dropped her umbrella and started taking off her shirt.

She struggled with it for second, got it off, then undid her bra. Then the skirt. Then the underwear. She left her stuff all in a pile and started across the street waving angrily. When she got to the island in the middle of Wilson she grabbed a low hanging tree branch and threw the flowers.

I would say that over 100 people saw her do all this because when she disappeared around the corner from my view, she ran toward the metro stop.

Weird experience.

A Crazy Idea?

2009-03-19T16:30:00.002-04:00

A Crazy Idea?
Riding this morning, I remembered that recently DC was soliciting suggestions as to what to do with their stimulus money. (I can't find the link right now, and I''m not sure they're still taking.) Of course I wrote in saying we should have more bike lanes and expanded mass transit. Now I'm thinking that the two could be even more related than anybody's tried to make them.

Why not build an elevated bike trail on top of the above-ground Metro lines?

I'm mainly thinking of the Red Line from Silver Spring to Union Station here. It's a section of town that is far from the Crescent Trail and that could use some more healthy people going through it. Yes, there are a few bike lanes woven through the grid around there, but bike lanes are unsafe compared to dedicated bike trails, even elevated ones.

Here's how it works, how it would be safe, and how it makes money: make the bike trail above the Red Line only accessible at Metro stations. Charge a high one-time fee for each bike that people want to use on it (and this will tie into DC's push for bicycle registration) OR supply rental bikes at major hubs. Also charge a flat $0.50 fee every time a cyclist enters the Red Trail. This charge would necessitate having a Smartrip that was also registered.

The charges should not ever be increased, because there'd be very little cost to maintain what will essentially be a cover for the train. The excessive registration would be to help Metro get over the fact that people could theoretically stay on the Red Trail all day, with access to the rail possible (though unlikely, due to the elevation and the side-railing that Metro would put up).

I understand it might be difficult to construct, and I would never want Metro to go through with it if it would shut down the Red Line to do it. But how cool would a Red Trail be?

(I don't know about the name, though. Sounds a little... Cold-War-ish?)

On the Trails: Custis, Crescent, Georgetown Branch

2009-03-19T16:20:00.003-04:00

On the Trails
Today I woke up in Falls Church. Don't ask me how I got there (although under duress I might let slip it had something to do with Go).

I decided to bike back to Silver Spring, so I went the most even-sloped way I know: Custis Trail to Capital Crescent Trail to Georgetown Branch Trail. I predicted it would take me over two hours, but it actually took just under 2.

It's really just so nice to take trails the whole way. No traffic. No death hills. Green and blooming stuff around you.

Actually, there was a fair amount of bike traffic on the Custis and the Crescent. None on the Georgetown Branch. Why is that? Is it because it's unpaved and people don't want to get their road bikes all bent? Maybe.

On my ride I noticed that the torn-up part of the Crescent had been fixed. You know, the part on the hill, just south of the park where you cross into Montgomery County? The one that had a gravel side-path for three years or so while we waited for somebody to finish it? Well, it took over three years, but it's done. Now that's efficiency.

I enjoyed my ride so much, I had a crazy idea...

Sakana: A Good Alternative to Sushi Taro?

2009-03-19T16:04:00.004-04:00

Sakana: A Good Alternative to Sushi Taro?
Since Sushi Taro did not open in time for my birthday, we went instead to Sakana.

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Sakana is best with the Japanese food other than sushi, but their sushi is still decent.

Their appetizers are what really get me. I like the spinach dish at any time of year, but I like their tofu dish in the summer. I've also had their nabeyaki udon (noodles in a clear broth with seafood etc) and it's really nice on cold days.

Today we had sushi, and it seemed better than normal today. The spicy tuna was better than usual. The yellowtail with scallions roll was subpar somehow, like there wasn't enough fish or flavor, or both. The green caterpillar roll was overpriced for what you got; a $10.95 roll is supposed to be a huge maki, but instead they just loaded a regular-sized roll with too much avocado. The unagi was great, though, and the nigiri tuna and salmon were good for the price.

I really like Sakana's take on tempura sushi: rectangular-pressed blocks with crunch on top and in the middle. We had both the veggie tempura roll and the sakana sushi tempura roll (which I think was shrimp). Really good texture, no oiliness, and just enough shrimp to the rice to make it feel worth it.

It's too bad about Sakana's service. Although today there was a dude with a teapot and water pitcher going around, on other days (when it's just the middle-aged woman) our drinks haven't usually stayed full. Also, better order everything you want right away. It'll take a while for your (sushi) order to come, but once it does, the waitstaff doesn't look out for a second round of orders.

So, while Sushi Taro's rebuilding, I suggest Sakana for a cheapish alternative where you can also partake in other Japanese items. This is only if you're committed to dining in Dupont Circle, though; there are better places, but they're more expensive.

(By all means, don't go to Uni for sushi! It's just down the road on P Street, but it's terrible!)

Sushi Taro Updates Website, Prolongs Sushi-Shaped Hole in My Life

2009-03-15T14:06:00.002-04:00

Sushi Taro Updates Website, Prolongs Sushi-Shaped Hole in My Life
For those not in the know, Sushi Taro (17th & P NW, above the CVS) was the best place to get sushi in DC. While other places might have had more expensive, exotic fish, and still others had a more sophisticated, bistoesque feel, Sushi Taro had the best fish for the price. Even forgetting about price, the sushi and sashimi there really was fantastic.

Sushi Taro closed for renovation around New Year's. Their website was wiped away to simply say "Sushi Taro restaurant is closed for a complete renovation until early March, 2009. We apologize for any inconvenience caused by this."

Early March, I thought? Perfect! My birthday is in late March. We might be able to restart the tradition my friends and I had of going to Sushi Taro for birthday lunches.

Sadly, Sushi Taro changed the word "early" to "late" on their website, dashing my hopes and dreams.

Chariots For Hire, kstreet lounge, and Manny & Olga's

2009-03-08T13:55:00.004-04:00

Last night I went to a birthday party for two of my friends. It wasn't really my scene, but it was great hanging out with good people.

We started out on a party bus, courtesy of Chariots For Hire. (Please note, H&C, that Chariots For Hire capitalizes the "F" in its own business name.)

It wasn't quite what I had pictured. I had pictured a double-decker bus with an open top, a staircase, and a fully-stocked bar. Yes, what I had pictured was probably impossible. This is what we got:

Except instead of cheesy Chariots of Fire music, we listened to a mix ranging on the scale from M.I.A. to Hanson, but staying mostly on the M.I.A. side, thankfully. The TV screens played Fast Times at Ridgemont High for the first two hours and Wanted for the second. A couple of times the laser hit me in the eye.

The bus was basically a city bus with comfy benches. The 35-person limit is a real limit; we had 34 and were cramped.

As I looked around at my friends drinking, I thought, why a bus? We were cramped, we were jostled, it was difficult to get drinks if you weren't sitting up front, the music was a little loud, and we weren't even going anywhere far away. But the discomfort and the cheesiness were all part of the fun. Besides, being driven while drunk to the Lincoln Memorial at night was something that was pretty special.

Our first stop, before the Memorial, was kstreet lounge (Note, H&C, that they don't use capital letters in their name, and they don't put a space after the "k".)

I'd never been, so I was interested in what it was like. Because of some special through the bus, we didn't have to wait very long to get in.

Inside, it's about what you'd expect for a clubby kind of place. Loud music, bad remixes (the Losing My Religion cover remix was particularly terrible), and lots of people on a Saturday night. And a lot of ladies.

From 10 to 12 on alternating Saturdays (?), ladies drink free. Seriously, there were a lot of drunk women up in that joint. I wasn't really looking for anyone, just standing in one place talking to the group I was with, and I had two encounters. The first one splashed her drink on my arm. She was very sorry, and talked with me for a bit, but she was the sluttiest-dressed girl within visual range, so I was kinda uninterested.

The second girl reached out and grabbed my arm for support while she put on her shoes, then pulled me into a little bit of dancing with her. She asked "Are you single" as the first thing she said to me. I replied I was. It turns out we have a mutual acquaintence, so I might be seeing more of her... actually, probably not; too busy studying.

kstreet lounge was pretty boring for me after a while. I don't like shouting to talk, so I was disinclined to talk, which is pretty much the only thing I do at bars. We got back on the bus and went to the Lincoln Memorial.

Ever tried to get a bunch of drunk people together for a group photo? Kinda hard to do.

At the end of the night, I was screwed by daylight savings time. I had thought that Metro would be running when I got off the bus at 2:00 am. Except there was no 2:00 am. My cell phone totally skipped that hour, stranding me in DC.

So I went back to one of my friend's houses and ordered some Manny & Olga's cheesesteak. I must say, I love that everything in Adams Morgan stays open until ridiculous hours. Especially Manny & Olga's. Their cheesesteak is the worst-for-you-slash-best cheap cheesesteak in town. Added benefit: they stay open until FIVE A.M.! Slight disadvantage: they're very unreliable, time-wise and order-wise. But hey, that's okay.

I woke up the next morning and found that someone had drunk my left contact (which I'd left in a plastic cup in the bathroom). I went home with one seeing eye and didn't eat until 3pm today.

Coraline

2009-02-28T00:51:00.002-05:00

I saw Coraline in 3-D Thursday night at the Gallery Place theater.

(Side review: Before the show, I had Thai Chili's stir-fried duck with bamboo shoots--quite tasty, but not as spicy as described. My compatriot had some sort of noodle-in-yellow-curry dish that tasted a bit like curry laksa, but not as good as the curry laksa at my favorite asian restaurant in DC, Malaysian Kopitiam.)

I read the book by Neil Gaiman. It's a children's book, yes, but there's always been an element of children's fantasy in Gaiman's work, so tthat was fine. I remember liking it but being far from loving it. Call me too growed-up.

I was excited to see Coraline the movie, because it looked creepy and creative. Plus I wanted to check out the 3-D stuff.

First, I wasn't prepared to pay $12.00 for the 3-D effect (and that's with my student discount). You don't even get to keep the glasses for the extra three bucks; you're encouraged to recycle them after the show.

Then the ads. I really detest the fact that they were pimping 12-year-old media so hard. After showing a bunch of ads for a boy-band-ish new movie, a kid's reality show, and Conan O'Brien (was that for the parents or the kids?), they recapped all the ads they'd just showed us.

Then the previews for other movies in 3-D. The Tim Burton one, called "9," looks boring and not really 3-D-ish. I can't remember the second one. But the third was kind of exciting and kind of "huh? A CG remake of an anime?" It was a teaser for Astro Boy.

And finally, the movie itself. Coraline's very pretty in parts, and creepy and disturbing in some ways, but... not creepy and disturbing enough.

Gaiman's story is creepy itself. A girl finds out that she has an Other Mother, who wants her to come live with her in her wonderful world. All she has to do... is give up her eyes and sew buttons into her sockets instead. Lotsa creepiness in that.

The movie was... It was too pretty to be creepy. It was too perfectly executed to inspire nightmares. Thanks to advances in technology, the stop-motion technique is really just a put-on; there's no need for jerkiness in the figures. Everything moved smoothly. Too smoothly.

You've heard of the Uncanny Valley, right? There's this place in the continuum from C3P0 to Commander Data where we get the shivers. Or at least we Americans do; the Japanese, on the other hand...

L'androïde Geminoid
by jeanrem

When I went to see Coraline, I wanted to take a stroll in the Uncanny Valley. I wanted to see twitchiness, almost-humanness, oddness. I'm not a horror kind of guy, but I do like creepy. Coraline the 3-D movie isn't creepy. It's cute. And cute is kind of nice but also kind of boring.

The deuce of it is, there's almost no point in watching Coraline at home without 3-D glasses. The effects are dazzling, when they're used well. I would've been upset had I not seen it in 3-D. I might've walked out, were it not for that cool feature.

Oh, there was a good part in the story. It had to do with dogs.

Right On, Ride-On

2009-02-24T21:41:00.003-05:00

I have to salute the Ride-On bus drivers who drive south on Colesville Road.

In downtown Silver Spring, I have to cross Colesville at a certain point on my commute. I could go out of my way to go to a light to cross, but that adds 5-7 minutes no matter what. And there's no reason I should have to go to a light. (Except sanity?)

In the morning, I can usually get straight across. For some reason, there is a lull every few minutes in the AM. But between 3:00 and 8:00 PM, it's quite scary. Them northward-living folks wants to get themselves home a-sap. Southbound lanes aren't great, either. I normally have to make a right, get into the leftmost lane, and make a left the next block over.

(Yep, plenty of brakes screech behind me, and I've gotten the horn a couple of times, but ehh, I'm over it.)

I've noticed, though, that, when no one else is coming except the Ride-On bus, the bus will stop for me to make my left turn. There's no reason for it to do this except to help me out. this has happened THREE times.

Thanks, Ride-On drivers, for not giving in to the usual bus-bike mutual-hatred. If I could ever figure out your circuits, I'd ride on you with pleasure.

Sligo Creek Trail Condition: Gaseous

2009-02-24T21:36:00.002-05:00

A woman walked towards me on the trail. As I got closer, she said "There's gas leaking up ahead."

I had no response to that except, "What?"

"There's a gas leak," she said. "Maybe you should be careful."

I slowed down, took that in, and said, "Okay."

Now behind me, the woman said "I don't know who to call..."

That's the trouble with the Sligo Creek Trail, isn't it? You just don't know who to call about such things.

The gas leak was at the playground before Riggs Road, where I'd been buffetted by the wind before. Natural gas, coming from what looked like a hole in the ground covered with two sheets of plywood.

Butt Dialing

2009-02-24T18:31:00.002-05:00

Last night I saw this commercial and it totally touches on something that I hate:

I pocket dial people all the frickin' time. It's beyond me why some a-hole thought it was a good idea to put an easy to depress audio mode button on the side of my phone then program my audio mode so that it will start choosing people from my phone list whose names spoken aloud apparently sound like the rustling of cloth. Such names include my friend's ex girlfriend. Not awkward at all. I totally forgot that I programmed her name because we were all meeting for a movie once or something.

Hmm, maybe they make the free phones that I get with my subscriptions annoying like that on purpose. Eventually I'll get sick of it and buy an expensive ass blackberry or something, right?

Thai Tanic Has a Good Location

2009-02-22T04:17:00.003-05:00

I really want to like Thai Tanic. It's in such a good location. It's central to a lot of good places. And the food is pretty good. It's just... not that awesome.

Tonight, I ordered from the House Special section: the Thai Tanic Star. It was minced chicken, shrimp, some sort of fishpaste fried cakes, peppers and broccoli. It had three stars next to it, meaning on the mild, hot, and fire scale, it would be fire.

The Thai Tanic Star was very tasty, but it was not spicy at all. I was very disappointed. I had wanted to burn my tastebuds off. I figured that the waitress had looked at me and thought, "White guy can't handle it."

I had some of my date's pad thai, and I admit it was the tastiest pad thai I've had in at least two years. Then again, I like spicy food, so I almost never eat pad thai when at a thai restaurant. But Thai Tanic's pad thai was sweet but not too sweet, peanutty but not too peanutty, and with the mung bean sprouts on the side it felt very light.

Another plus for Thai Tanic is the size of the soda glasses. You'll pretty much get a gallon of coke all to yourself.

But, after we paid the check, the waitresss kept hovering. We were still letting our food settle (we both had eaten too much), and so we were settling into talking. Then the hostess came over and said, "Can I clear table?"

We looked at each other, then back to the hostess, who said, "Sorry, there's so many people, waiting..." blah blah blah she kicked us out. Sure, it's Saturday, and sure, there was a line, but, really? Really? You're going to kick out customers who just finished? We hadn't even been sitting long after paying the bill; tops, 6 minutes.

Thai Tanic... I'll probably be back, since the food's decent and the locale is great, but man, don't kick me out again.

Sligo Creek Trail Condition: Ill-Mannered Winds

2009-02-19T21:51:00.002-05:00

This morning, I chose to believe my weather reports rather than my own senses.

Weather reports: "It's not raining outside."
Senses: "It looks wet. It feels wet. And a bunch of concentrated wetnesses are landing on your body."
Brain: "It's just moisture in the air."
Reality: "It's raining."

I am against biking in the rain or even wet conditions. March last year I fell, scratched half my face, and concussed myself due to wet cement. So it was out of character for me to continue biking, once reality had shouted in my ears that it was indeed raining.

Still, I've learned other things from my fall than just to avoid the rain. I've learned not to go too fast down steep hills. And I've learned to stay on the street, not the sidewalk (you'd think the sidewalk would be safer, but you'd be wrong; not enough traction and too much chance of skidding after hitting a deep crack). I got to UMD without incident.

On the way back, I skirted the horse manure that was still there and weaved around the larger glass shards. When I got to an open area of the trail (before Riggs), I was pretty much immobilized by the wind. It was crazy. I was panting just to go a few feet.

Once I passed Riggs Road, the wind wasn't much of an issue. Pedestrians and other bikes were.

I think I'm going to change up my passing etiquette. I'm a shouter. Instead of ringing my bell, I prefer to raise my voice and say "Passing on the left!" For some reason, I think it's nicer to say something rather than make a loud metal PING and expect someone to get out of the way.

But today, nobody knew how to walk on the trail. Everybody was walking on the left side. I ended up sounding like an idiot:

"PASSING ON THE LEF... or right?"

With the third person (an old woman with a dog), I just said "PASSING." That made me sound less an idiot and more a prick.

Even some bikers were getting in on the left-side-craziness. A man with a baby in an attached seat on the bike was biking between his two pre-teen and teenaged sons. They were on the left. Also, they acted confused when I said something to pass them. The father apologized to me as I passed him; I said "that's okay."

Really, it was okay. I don't really get mad at these things. I just wonder if it's best just to use the bell instead of my vocal cords.

Snuggie Hate

2009-02-18T20:51:00.000-05:00

In solidarity with my long-reclusive coblogger, I post this video.

Do Not Buy A Snuggie

2009-02-18T13:05:00.002-05:00

For my girlfriend's birthday I bought her a Snuggie. Now that she has it, it's a great, comfy, wonderful thing to have. But I should have ordered a similar product like the slanket or just hand made something or just had her put her bathrobe on backward like Jay Leno apparently jokes.

The website was straighforward and easy to use - a little too easy. I put in my order, chose the burgundy color, entered my credit card # and my phone number, then proceeded to the check out. The next page it took me to was deliberately unclear as to what it was telling me. It seemed to me that it was an order confirmation page and on the bottom of the page was a gigantic light blue button that said "yes" and a much smaller light gray "no" button. I clicked yes and in doing so was duped into buying a second order! Immediately it took me to the same page to try to get more out of me. I caught on after being duped once, then after clicking no it took me to another page that tried to sell another product. Then another and another.

The order was buy one get one free so now I have FOUR of those things!!!

Of course, their customer service line did not pick up, claiming "heavy call volume due to the holiday season," (At the end of January!?), and my emails to them were sent back.

But perhaps the most annoying thing was that they seem to have sold my phone number to some annoying people. For the weeks following my order there was some phone number that called me literally 3x/day minimum. I picked up the phone maybe twice and nobody answered. I googled the number and found message boards of people who regret buying snuggies who had the same problem. Apparently people call from that number and offer gift cards from Wal-Mart or other rewards that are somehow scams. I blocked that number and just two days ago some salesman called me from a new number offering me some exciting awards that I'm eligible for. Ugh. Now I might have to change my number or keep blocking new ones.

Do not buy a snuggie.

Sligo Creek Trail Condition: Crappy

2009-02-17T19:49:00.002-05:00

Anyone else annoyed by the big piles of horse manure on the Northwest Branch trail around University Blvd? Anyone? Anyone?

(Oh, darn. I quoted Ben Stein. I promised myself I wouldn't do that any more after seeing Expelled.)

Finding a Replacement

2009-02-16T17:19:00.003-05:00

Roommate is moving out, so I am in the process of picking a new one. After interview I think 9 people I have 6 that I could very easily see myself living with. I leave the experience with 1) a very positive view of the people living in the DC area, and 2) genuinely sad that I have to say no to a bunch of them.

The experience for me has been decidedly better than Aak's was. I don't have a list of moronic things people have told me. We just chatted about hobbies, interests, backgrounds, etc. I did have some people write me Aak's list item #5 "I'll absolutely pay on time," and they got the cold shoulder. Now comes the part where whoever I choose turns out to have unpleasant habits like peeing in the potted plants.

I want to do a stint now as a hiring manager somewhere because I liked interviewing people so much.

Weird Day.

2009-02-13T17:46:00.003-05:00

Some college girls were standing in front of the library, holding big signs saying "FREE HUGS." They were shouting "free hugs!" as well. I stopped a distance off to see how much business they got. I didn't see anyone taking them up on their offer. Neither did I.

I noticed today that the pedestrians on the Sligo Creek Trail don't really follow the rules. They'll walk on the left side, stand three abreast, etc. Much different from the Georgetown Branch Trail walkers--they know their place (on the right).

Saw a BUMP traffic sign graffitoed with "da rump" below it.

At the bank, the teller told me to "enjoy my valentine." I said, "thanks?"

Time to catch up on some sleep, I say.

Sligo Creek Trail Condition: Woodwinds

2009-02-12T23:09:00.000-05:00

I really should invest in a phone with a good camera. You'll just have to take my word for it that there was a lot of debris on the trail today due to the high winds. Mostly wood, with a splash of glass every few feet on the Northwest Branch part.

It was so windy, I felt it would be dangerous to ride on the roads for long. I was being veered to and fro everywhere when the winds really got up to speed.

I don't ride in the rain, and now I don't ride when it's windy. I feel like a weather wuss.

Sligo Creek Trail Condition: Crowded, with a Side of Chicken

2009-02-11T19:02:00.004-05:00

View Larger Map

There were a lot of people out on the trail today. More than when it was this temperature in the autumn. Perhaps it's the rarity of 70-degree weather in February, or perhaps people were just itching to get outside after winter's seclusion.

I played Chicken with a car today. On the bike trail. (UPDATE: See the above google-rific thingy to know approx. where this was.)

What was it doing on the bike trail, you ask? Being stupid.

I refused to be intimidated (stupidly). I stayed on the bike trail, forcing it to drive onto the grass. Chalk up one for bikers everywhere.

(Look, I'm all for sharing the road, when it comes to roads. But sharing a bike trail with cars? Never.)

Really Honking Nice Outside

2009-02-10T21:10:00.004-05:00

I've been biking a lot more, recently, due to the great weather. I've lost a lot of muscle, letting the bike collect dust. I'm frequently panting where I shouldn't be, like in a museum or a church confessional.

Sorry, that was my brain slipping through my fingers. I've been studying a lot, too, tenderizing my gray matter into mush.

Yesterday, I rode home via the roads and not the trail, since it was darkening when I left. I had no problems until I got to the intersection of Metzerott and New Hampshire.

I got into the right lane, though I was taking a left, since both lanes were left-turn lanes. I was panting, to be sure, coming up that last hill on Metzerott, but I made time to look behind me at the car that was acting a little impatient behind me. I wanted to see if it was turning right, so I could give it room to do so, but they didn't have their signal on. I got to the top of the hill, finally, and stood in the middle of it.

I took some deep breaths and was jolted by two honks behind me. I whipped around; still no signal. I yelled, "Where's your right-turn signal?!" and moved over to the left. I couldn't see the girl's face as she turned right, but I yelled anyway "How else would I know?!"

After she made her turn, I settled down, breathing more slowly. I thought, wait, was -I- the a%hole here?

In Japan, drivers typically don't honk unless it's to say thank you or sorry. Part of the culture, I guess. Here, honking is usually aggressive, with some friendly/playful honking thrown in on rare occasions.

But it was pretty reasonable for the girl to honk at me. I was stopped, so it wouldn't be dangerous to startle me. She had to get my attention, as she hadn't thought to put her signal on. She might have just been trying to ask me to move, sorta politely. Her two honks weren't playful, like "meep-meep," but they weren't insistent, like "URRR URRRRRR."

Don't you think we should have two tones of honks? One for friendly, I'm-sorry-could-you-move kinds of honks, and another for HEY!YOU!GETOFFAMYCLOUD! kindsa honks. I'd suggest it to the car industry, but I think they might have other things on their minds right now...

Sligo Creek Trail Condition: Clear & Awkward

2009-02-05T18:31:00.002-05:00

The trail from Silver Spring to UMD is mostly clear, except for countable-on-two-hands patches of ice.

I biked home at dusk. It was getting dark as I turned off the main trail and onto an uphill exit ramp. The ramp is more like a narrow strip, not enough asphalt to accommodate two people at the same time. I saw up ahead a woman walking down towards the trail and me. I didn't ring my bell or anything, just figured she saw me and my bright-ass headlight. I slowly pedaled up the strip and she didn't seem to be deviating her course. I was just starting to wonder if she expected me to ride off of the strip when she looked up and yelled "Oh!!!" about two feet in front of me.

I said awkwardly "I thought you must've seen me..."

She said, "Hhhhno, I... was in another world." She waved her hand over her eyes.

"I really thought you must've seen me," I said, not reducing the awkwardness.

She just stood there. Then she got over to the side and waited for me to pass her. I slowly did so.

Tricky Weather

2009-02-04T17:18:00.002-05:00

I hate this weather. Not because it's cold, and not because it's snowing. I like both those things. I hate this weather because it's not snowing enough!

All this week, I've woken up, looked outside, checked the radar, looked on WaPo for the CapitalWeather Gang's take, and decided that the risk of snow/rain was too great to go biking. Then it turns out to be perfect weather for biking all day.

It especially sucks since I'd resolved to bike as much as possible, and now caution about wet/icy roads prevents me from taking advantage of good days to bike.

Arrgh. I may just ride tomorrow, despite the weather warnings. It's been too long.

100 Post Mark

2009-02-03T18:42:00.002-05:00

Happy Setsubun, everybody!

Setsubun is a sort of Japanese new year tradition in which they drive out demons from their houses by throwing soybeans around, in order to invite good luck in for the coming seasons. I'm glad it worked out that my 100th post fell on this kind of day. Here's hoping Districted has a good year! 鬼は外! 福は内!

Blogging has been an interesting experiment, this time around. I've tried to keep pretense minimized and Japanese references relegated to my So Ka So Ka blog. I'm glad Hatandcoat egged me on to become a blogger with him.

My most popular posts this past year have mostly been due to DCBlogsNoted's linkage, for which I am most grateful, or due to my friends checking out pictures of pumpkins or reading about my near-death experience. Here's the best of Districted, as selected by pageviews.

55 Reasons Why I Love the DC Area - by far the most-viewed post. By FAR. It also generated the most comments. Sorry, Hatandcoat, but people love lists. Like Arnold would say, "give the people lists!"

Percieved Impoliteness - first one picked up by DCBlogsNoted. I'm still not sure who was in the wrong in that situation.

Sweetness on the Metro: Gimmie Hug Edition - a girl wants a hug.

Election Day Deals - I like to attract thrifty readers.

Double-Blog Crisis: Pumpkin Edition - pumpkin carving pics!

My First Near-VH Experience - Scary.

The Ugliest Side of America - Political.

He Used To Be a Caveman. But Now He's a Lawyer. - A Hatandcoat post!

That's enough of looking backward. What's coming this year? Well, as I've said somewhere already, I want to emphasize the cheap stuff in the DC/Silver Spring/Arlington areas. Free stuff, too. I also will talk about biking; sorry, can't help it. I'll also try and incorporate my photography more into the blog, without getting all photobloggy.

Here's to a good year! Out with the demons! In with the luck!

I Shouldn't Have Been Staring

2009-02-01T23:31:00.005-05:00

I was biking on Metzerott, heading away from UMD. It was Friday afternoon. I was in black bike tights, an orange bike jacket, a white helmet, and cheap sunglasses. I was stopped at the intersection of Metzerott and Adelphi. Right here, to be exact:

View Larger Map

I was stopped at the red light, standing over my bike's frame. I could see that the crosstraffic was getting a yellow light, so I half-sat and got ready to go.

From the right, a guy on a bike zipped across all of the lanes without looking. He pedaled fast--the wheels looked small. He was black, he had a red knit cap on, and he was talking to himself. He didn't bother going over to the right side. He headed without hesitation into shoulder of the lane of oncoming traffic. Like this:

I watched him do this with a look of absolute perplexity on my face. He was talking rather loudly, which was another reason why I was looking at him. As he came closer, I heard what he was saying.

"F*** you, n*****."

When he passed me, I saw him looking at me as he said it again: "F*** you, n*****." Behind me, I heard him saying other things, but I got on my bike and began to cross. I left him to deal with the shoulder ice and the oncoming traffic alone.

55 Reasons I Love the DC Area

2009-02-01T14:12:00.003-05:00

(Tagged by Jen.)

1. Friends and family are nearby, so I can get my gaming on, go out to a play, or catch up over good food almost any time I want.

2. Walk down any street in downtown DC and you have a good chance of hearing a language other than English.

3. Ethiopian food. Doro wat, tibs, and all the veggie dishes.

4. Bike trails, when they're maintained. The Capital Crescent used to be my daily commute, and now Sligo Creek is.

5. A decently-sized Japanese community with whom I can converse.

6. Japanese grocery stores (especially Hinata, the cheapest and the best! Address: 4947 Saint Elmo Ave, Bethesda, MD 20814)

7. The 24-hour Tastee Diner in Silver Spring (with free wireless access). It's so run-down, but it reminds me of late nights in the Towson Diner back in the day.

8. The AFI and the Landmark theaters.

9. The Metro, despite its failings; it's why I moved to this place.

10. Malaysian Kopitiam: best cheap Asian food in the city. Everything I've gotten there has been good. And they even have a picture menu!

11. The Folger Theatre. I've been twice (thanks to Missy) and been swept away.

12. The small venues that attract big or up-and-coming names. If you get there early enough, you can see every bead of sweat on their faces.

13. The Kennedy Center and their free stuff.

14. The Sakura Matsuri and the cherry blossoms.

15. The atmosphere here when Obama was elected and when he was inaugurated.

16. The pirate bar, mainly for the company. Be careful with the grog. But then again, everyone needs a grog story.

17. Scrabble nights, as organized by Audrey. (Speaking of which, everyone should invite Audrey to join Facebook. Trust me, it'll be funny.)

18. Sushi Taro. Unfortunately, the restaurant that has the best sushi at the best price is undergoing renovations until March. What's good: pretty much all the sushi. They have the spicy-mayo variety of spicy tuna/salmon, which is excellent. And it's a real Japanese atmosphere. Very highly recommended.

19. Riding my bike in Dupont Circle. I love going between the cars that are pretty much parked in the circle. It was always the highlight of my commute.

20. Julia's Empanadas. This is street food at its best: warm, savory stuff packed into a pastry shell, for only $3.50. I would usually get one near quitting time, so I would be tided over until dinner. I think they're healthy, too.

21. The 14th Street bike lane. It's large enough to protect you from traffic, and the slopes aren't too steep. It gets me pretty much from my home in Silver Spring to Columbia Heights or U Street as quickly as possible.

22. Cakelove cakes at birthday parties.

23. Eastern Market.

24. Kam Sam, the Chinese grocery store that I frequently frequent. It's out in Rockville, but to me it's worth the Zipcar rental.

25. The Freer & Sackler Galleries Asian art stuff, including the concerts, performances, movies, and talks.

26. Hearing "The Kojo Nnaaaammdi Show." Not really the show itself, just hearing the title as pronounced by Kojo.

27. The occasional jumbo slice.

28. The weather. Really. The weather's quite moderate, though mostly always wet. This fall, there was awesome biking weather for a month. A month!

29. Finding bizarre monuments.

30. Restaurant Week.

31. Five Guys. (Hey, it started here... right?)

32. Late night Manny & Olga's cheesesteak subs.

33. Fruitpicking in Virginia and Maryland is only a drive away.

34. Ginko trees. I know, they stink, but the Ginko nuts are delicious when roasted.

35. Tempo Books in Tenlytown. They have (perhaps literally) tons of language learning books: ESL, Spanish, Japanese, most languages.

34. Biking along M Street in Georgetown during rush hour (see 19).

35. Brunch: an important, weekend-only, meal in DC.

36. Capitol Hill Arts Workshop. I only took classes there for a brief time, but it's a good community.

37. Busboys and Poets. Best name ever.

38. Teaism.

39. Domku. Such a weird little island, I can't help but love it. Eastern European eats, but unique.

40. Suits and sneakers on the Metro.

41. The Craigslist community: there's always something for free up for grabs. And I found my roommates through it and I'm quite happy about that.

42. The dim sum near my place at Oriental East. Not that it's the awesomest, just that it's good and close.

43. Naan & Beyond's naan sandwiches.

44. Biking through Rock Creek Park in the spring and summer (on the road, when it's closed to cars).

45. The plethora of bike shops, for when I break down from all the above biking.

46. Video Americain in Takoma Park. It was there that I rented Tampopo, the best movie ever about ramen. So funny.

47. The Quarry House, especially on Half Price Burger Night (Mondays), and especially when the tatertots are nice and soft.

48. Union Station. It was the first place in DC I remember coming to, when I was visiting some Georgetown students back in the day. I like the shape, the columns, and even the crappy food court down in the underbelly.

49. Politics & Prose, though I don't go to the author talks nearly enough.

50. Being slowly introduced to Salvadoran food, such as pupusas.

51. Embassy open houses.

52. The Greek festival at Massachusetts and Wisconsin.

53. Zipcars, although I wish one was just five minutes closer to my place.

54. The Chipotle at M & 19th, Mai Thai on 19th, and Penang on 19th--for good lunches with good company.

55. I like that DC is not in love with itself (like New York is). I don't like it when people hate on DC, but I much prefer anti-sentiment to effusive praise. DC might be where powerful people are, but no DCites have chips on their shoulders about living here. I like that, I do.

(crossposted on Facebook)

Sligo Creek Trail Impassable between UMD and Silver Spring

2009-02-01T02:22:00.002-05:00

Thursday was a nice, sunny day, and kind of warm. It was perfect for biking. I decided to check out the bike trail along Sligo Creek (plus the Northwest Branch) to see if it had been salted, plowed, or anything.

The answer: parts of it.

The Northwest Branch is fine. There are a few bits of solid ice, but those you can go around. Once you cross the creek and get on the Sligo Creek Trail part, things get bad. I fell once, on a patch of black ice. I was going so slowly, though, that nothing was broken.

I checked it out earlier today (Saturday) and the trail was still covered with ice and showed no signs of even starting to melt.

(I looked for a Sligo Creek Trail committee to report this to, but I could only find these Creekheads: http://www.fosc.org/fosc.htm. I don't think they'd much care what a biker had to say.)

SNOMG*

2009-01-27T22:40:00.003-05:00

Outside my window are evergreens. During the day it was nerve-settling to look outside and see the branches hanging low with perfectly-soft white snow.

School closed early, so I was supposed to get homework done. Didn't happen. I'm freaking out about how little kanji I know compared to my classmates.

Good thing I had the snow outside to calm me down.

*Title stolen off a friend's Gchat status.

Overheard on Inauguration

2009-01-24T01:39:00.002-05:00

Scary Evangelist: Just going to church is not enough. Just being a good person is not enough. You must accept that you are a sinner, you are dirty, you are a sinner in the eyes of Our Lord...

some distance away:
Middle-Aged Woman 1: Should I flash my tits at him?
Middle-Aged Woman 2: He'd probably like that. I bet he's got a big ol' box of porn at home.

Baltimore to Washington DC: The Cheapest Carless Transit

2009-01-17T14:26:00.004-05:00

Baltimore light rail goes to BWI, and from BWI you can get a bus to the Metro. I always knew this, but I never tried it until today.

Light rail ticket: $1.60.
B30 Bus from BWI to Greenbelt Metro Station: $3.00 with Smartrip ($3.10 cash).

One-way cost: $4.60 + Metro ride.
Time you should allocate: at least 3 hours.

Obviously, this is not the most efficient way to get from Baltimore to DC. The most efficient way is by car, which takes a little over an hour. The next most efficient way is to get someone to give you a ride to Penn Station and then take the MARC ($7-14) or an Amtrak train ($27 or $87) to Union Station. But it is the cheapest* way to go without a car, as far as I know.

Anecdotal portion:
Today, I got on the light rail at the Timonium stop, which is the 2nd-northernmost stop on the line. I got the 10:29, which was the one that went all the way to BWI. (Important: LOOK to see the final destination on the front car. Not all trains terminate at BWI.)

I arrived at BWI at 11:48, just missing the 11:40 B30 bus. (At BWI, the B30 picks up both at the BWI Business District light rail stop and at the terminal. In winter, I recommend taking the light rail all the way to the terminal, so you can warm up inside.) The B30 stop was just around the corner from where I got off the light rail.

The B30 picked me up at 12:10. I got to Greenbelt by 12:36. I was on a Green Line train by 12:37, although it waited five minutes before leaving. I was in my home in Silver Spring by 1:20.

I was lucky; the total trip could have been much longer if the B30 had been late or if the light rail had had more single-tracking. But I had no agenda for today, so it worked for me.

Things you'll need:
Light rail schedule.
B30 bus schedule. (PDF)
Patience/a book/music.

*You may notice that Districted will become a "cheap blog" in the coming months. Sorry?

1/17/09 5:28 - edited, with thanks to the Abbot.

Charge: Positive

2009-01-09T23:48:00.004-05:00

I'm much better than I was during the Holistidays, but I still have a cough. +

I was up late reading Memoirs of a Geisha. I know, you probably thought I had read it long ago. I guess I was waiting for the hype to die down. It's not the greatest book ever written, but it's good. And it's good to be reading a book for fun again. +

I woke up early to do my linguistics homework, then I biked & Metroed to UMD. I saw my Asian History TA from last semester at the library. I asked if his family had made it through the red tape and finally arrived in the US; he said they had. +

I rocked the first midterm. +

Biking home, I was yelled at on the very stretch of road where I'd had my near-VH. I was in the left lane, preparing for a left turn, and an Asian guy yelled something about "...the RIGHT!" -

But I responded a lot better than before. I said "I'M TURNING LEFT." +

But then I added, "FUCK YOU." -

At home, while getting ready to go out again, I listened to twelve minutes of the scientifically-most-annoying song ever. -

The Red Line was shut down; apparently there was a crack between Dupont and Woodley. --

I went to the station attendants and asked for a refund, since the train hadn't moved in 15 minutes and I was going to switch to a bus. The younger attendant started saying "We can't do that; you'll have to call." I said, "Why can't you? I've been sitting there for 15 minutes." The older attendant then said, "We'll let you out without swiping your card, just tell the next station manager what happened." +

(Walking to the bus, I pondered why you can't just get a refund instantly. Can't smartrip cards be "smart" enough to know when you exit from the same place you entered? Peeves me off.) -

I quickly caught the S4 bus. +

My cell phone was dying, and I needed to stay in touch with my friend, who was supposed to give me shirts. -

I tricked my phone into believing it had more of a charge, and found out that my friend was locked in traffic. I got off the bus at L and started walking towards him. But L Street was blocked completely by cop cars and a long stretch of police tape. I called my friend back and told him he was not going to get through. While he was on the phone, I went up to three firemen, one of whom said I couldn't even walk through on the sidewalk. I asked him what was the matter. Eventually another one said, "A package." -

I walked to my friend, who was stuck in his car. I got my shirts and I talked to him and his wife as they inched along L. ++++

Then I went to Thai Kingdom, where I was scheduled to meet up with four other Japanese speakers for some speaking practice. I was early. I didn't hear from anyone until 50 minutes later. -

Finally, one member showed up: my ex-girlfriend. But the funny thing is, just then a horde of Japanese people came in, maybe 30 or so, but they were in a different party. They sat just far enough away that I couldn't eavesdrop on them. (no charge, just funny)

The spicy eggplant with fried tofu is really good at Thai Kingdom. +

I got a lot of Japanese practice, more than I'd been getting for the past two weeks. And the interaction with my ex went smoothly. +

After dinner, I was able to talk my way into getting back onto the Metro without getting charged. +

Got home, found my roommate and her boyfriend watching The Notebook. My roommie was saying something about the artwork on the wall: "There are three red circles, no, there are four red circles." I said, "But there are five lights." She said, "What?" Her boyfriend said, "No, there are FOUR LIGHTS!" We derailed the romantic vibe with a lot of Star Trek talk. +

Blogging on Districted for the first time since feeling better: +

+16
-9
Overall charge +5

Holistidays

2008-12-27T16:57:00.002-05:00

Merry New Year and Happy Christmas. I'm sick.

This is the first time in about a year and a half that I've been really sick. My uncle tells me that's because I am getting so much Vitamin D from being outside on the bike. My cousin tells me it's because I was getting nearly 2 hours of exercise every day. I think it has something to do with both, plus the extra circulation and respiration.

Supposing that's all true, I'm really regretting taking the shuttle to UMD most of the time in late November and all of December.

This sucks. I was hoping to have more time to update here on Districted during my time away from schoolin'. But I'm quarantined, so I'm going to be posting more on Hatandcoat.

(I'm beginning to think of Hatandcoat as the "interior" blog and Districted as the "exterior." What do you think, o Absent Co-Blogger?)

I spent all day in front of the TV yesterday, watching the House marathon on USA. Yes, I was that miserable. I made it outside today just for a short trip to Whole Foods.

See, I'm in an awkward in-between space right now in terms of insurance. My work coverage ended and my school coverage is going to kick in mid-January (I think). So I can't go to the doctor unless I think it's serious. Luckily, I know what I've got. A sinus infection. Get them all the time. At least I used to, before the serious biking.

I went to Whole Foods, intending to go all out with the home remedies. I got:

kombucha (it helped that guy's mom with her cancer!)
echinacea & slippery elm teas
that probiotic yogurt stuff, immunity variety
crackers
crackers
more crackers (there was a sale)
zinc (technically should've been downing it three days ago)
olive bread (olives are a mediterranean cure-all)
honey (an egyptian cure-all)
chicken soup (a Jewish cure all?)
lots of other soups
chicken pot pie
spinach curry (spinach has Vit. C)
orange juce (ditto)
four apples (an apple a day...)

In addition to all that, I'll continue to neti-pot my sinuses every day... maybe even twice a day. Plus I've got a multi-vitamin (mainly B vitamins... what the hey).

I wish I could be more scientific about it, but I'm just going to throw everything I've got into my immune system and see what happens. And if something bad happens from all these home remedies interacting with each other, well, that's what I get for watching the House marathon.

Baltimore's Own "Sinner"

2008-12-22T23:27:00.005-05:00

On Sunday, I went to see "Sinner," a 20-minute short written and directed by Wade Tyree. Wade pulled out all the stops to put this movie together, but I hadn't expected him to premiere it at the Senator. I took this photo of him in front of the marquee, and I quite like it.

It took about an hour for things to get rolling. Then the Senator Theatre manager came onto the stage and addressed the mostly-full theater. His opening was a joke about how nothing had better happen that night, or else all of Baltimore's production staff would be gone. Apparently the room was filled with film crew people and other indie film producers.

The short itself? It was carried by the lead actor, Corey Parker-Robinson. He was on The Wire, which Wade worked on as well. Parker-Robinson was phenomenal and believable throughout the story. I liked Wade's direction as well, and the way he incorporated classic Baltimore scenery: the old warehouse, the park, and of course the diner near the end. Very cool.

After "Sinner" had ended (with much applause), I caught up with some Baltimore people and tried to ignore the Dave Matthews DVD playing on the big screen. Not a very good music DVD choice for the afterparty, I must say. A little while later, I hit the road to go play Settlers of Catan with Hatandcoat.

Passive Review: Dusit [Thai Cuisine]

2008-12-22T20:03:00.005-05:00

When a restaurant is two blocks from a Metro station in downtown DC, I don't care. I'll even walk five or six blocks without hesitation down there. But when a restaurant is two blocks from a Metro Station in suburban Maryland, I'm like, "What? 2 blocks? Oh, who wants to go to Wheaton, anyway." It makes no sense, but I feel incredibly put out when I find that, to find good ethnic food, I have to walk a bit in the suburbs.

Today I was Christmas shopping at the Wheaton mall and I decided to visit Dusit, reportedly one of the best Thai restaurant in the Districted area. It's at the corner of University Blvd and Georgia Ave, only two blocks from the Wheaton stop on the Red Line.

It was 5:00 or so and I was by myself, which was fine by the friendly staff. They waved me to a booth and then continued talking among themselves in what I assume was Thai. I flipped through the menu, but I had no idea what I wanted. I put the menu down and the waitress came over instantly. I told her I didn't know what I wanted, but that I like everything, spiciness included. She recommended the Penang Curry. I passively went with it, choosing the shrimp option. I also ordered the Steamed Dumplings (pork and shrimp).

The dumplings were great. They were of the shaomai variety, which can sometimes be overcooked so as to ruin the texture. Dusit's were perfect. The sauce that came with them was strong and salty and sweet.

Penang curry is not normally a favorite of mine, but Dusit's penang is the best I've ever had. It was sweet without being cloying. It was subtly peanutty (with peanut chunks in the sauce as well). And it was spicy, but the spiciness was more of a supporting role than a lead. You can tell that it's hot from the start, but you can taste everything perfectly--it only gets warm in your mouth after the first few spoonfuls.

While I was eating, a woman came in who appeared to know the owner. The owner, a tall woman in a gray dress, sat and talked with the customer about the weather, how she's been, their respective children, etc. I didn't get the impression they were close, but maybe the customer had been a frequent patron a year or so ago. I got the feeling that Dusit would be a nice place to be a regular at, unlike my local 24-hour diner, the Tastee.

In all, Dusit seems worth returning to to sample more food. I won't say they're awesome just yet, but my one entree was perfect, as far as that goes. Walkability is very high, just get over the fact that it's in Wheaton.

French Roads Fail Me

2008-12-22T03:18:00.006-05:00

Every time I learn a new trick like a new shortcut or route through this city to take by car, it gets balanced out by frustration with new mistakes.

I was back in DC from watching "Sinner" at the Senator Theatre and I went to play Settlers of Catan with Hatandcoat and our not-frequent-enough Guest Poster. We played until 2am-- GP won the first one quickly, but I won the second game after a long struggle for power. We were in Glover Park, so I had no idea how to drive back to Silver Spring from there. We looked it up, and Google suggested this route:

Looks simple; elegant, even. I liked it. I liked how W turns into 42nd and ends at New Mexico, and how New Mexico ends at American University, right at Nebraska. It was a neat, efficient route.

I, however, ended up doing this:

I must've blown past the Nebraska-Military intersection. And I had had no idea how wise it would have been to take Wise across Rock Creek Park. Let's have a close-up of that idiocy, shall we? (click for even larger hilarity)

Friggin' French-designed state roads and such. Makes one wish one had a GPS thingy... like one that could be used in conjunction with a bike as well... hint hint...

Mixed Feelings

2008-12-15T08:22:00.002-05:00

As a blogger who has spoken out against Bush and the Iraq War, I have extremely mixed feelings about this incident.

This kind of dissatisfaction with the US and with Bush is something everybody should expect. Even though we're supposedly doing a lot for Iraq, there's no question that we've also made Iraqis' day-to-day lives hard as well. I assume a lot of people in Iraq would like to throw their shoes at President Bush, especially since he's on the way out. He must be a focal point for their anger. They can focus all their bad feelings about the US on Bush alone, while hoping for better things to come with the new administration (as are we all).

But I'm also horrified at the act. I mean, that was the President of the United States. You don't just throw your shoes at the most powerful guy in the world. It's disturbing to watch Bush have to duck. Protest demonstration or no, don't physically threaten the Prez.

And then I read this transcript (which I'll paste in its entirety) from the Times Online, taken from Air Force One:

Mr Bush: Okay, my opening statement: I didn't know what the guy said, but I saw his sole….I'm pretty good at ducking, as most of you will know —
Reporter: You were quick.
Mr Bush: I'm talking about ducking your questions…I — look, I mean it was just a bizarre moment, but I've had other bizarre moments in the presidency. I remember when Hu Jintao was here. Remember we had the big event? He's speaking, and all of a sudden I hear this noise — had no earthly idea what was taking place, but it was the Falun Gong woman screaming at the top of her lungs. It was kind of an odd moment.
Reporter: Well, not to belabour the point too much, on this man, but I have a serious question about it. Obviously he's expressing a vein of anger that exists in Iraq, and —
Mr Bush: How do you know? I mean, how do we know what he's expressing? Who —
Reporter: We had a translator who said he shouted about the widows and orphans.
Mr Bush: I don't know. I've heard all kinds of stories. I heard he was representing a Baathist TV station. I don't know the facts, but let's find out the facts. All I'm telling you, it was a bizarre moment.
Reproter: I wanted to ask something broader.
Mr Bush: I don't think you can take one guy throwing shoes and say this represents a broad movement in Iraq. You can try to do that if you want to. I don't think it would be accurate.
Reporter: Well, then, separately from him —
Mr Bush: That's exactly what he wanted you to do. Like I answered on your question, what he wanted you to do was to pay attention to him. And sure enough, you did…
[A noise is heard aboard the aircraft]
Mr Bush: The other shoe just dropped. Look, I'm going to be thinking of shoe jokes for a long time. I haven't heard any good ones yet.

Again, mixed feelings. Bush's gut instinct is to (publicly) ignore the act, as if it were a terrorist act instead of a protest, so as not to give it any credence. And then he says "I don't think you can take one guy" and I think, great, not even throwing shoes at the President can make you be heard.

Liberals assume that Iraqis hate us. Conservatives assume that they love us. The obvious answer is that both feelings are there, at probably a ratio of half and half. Bush could never admit to that compromise. That is one thing I can't stand about him. Someone throws shoes at him in a symbolic gesture (see here for the cultural implications), and he just laughs it off, saying he could see their "sole." Good one, Mr. Prez. Good one.

Bad Movies

2008-12-12T23:10:00.002-05:00

I went to see Synecdoche, New York at the AFI in Silver Spring. While I love Charlie Kaufman, and while I appreciate the idea of the movie (director wants to make a play about his life, but wants to make it life-sized, on and on, layers within layers)... the whole thing was a long, drawn-out, uninteresting piece of crap, with only glimmers of cleverness that do not outweigh the boringness of the maiin character's long path to death.

I don't have too much more to say about Synecdoche (other than it's pronounced "sin-ECK-duh-key"). A one-sentence review is all you're getting.

In the interest of actually watching good movies, I've joined Netflix. It's a good service, but I wish it had EVEN MORE foreign films, and I wish that everything was streamable.

Rating movies on Netflix is addictive. I've rated 886 movies so far. (Is that a lot?) Let me show you the ones that I rated one-star (which means "hated it"--it goes 1=hated it, 2=didn't like it, 3=liked it, 4=really liked it, 5=loved it).

Armageddon.
Nuff said.
Bad Boys II.
I love the first one for the humor and for Tea Leone. This had neither.
End of Days.
Schwartzenegger vs. the Devil. Right.
Expelled.
A so-called "documentary" about scientists "unfairly" putting down "Intelligent" Design.
Face/Off.
I never knew over-the-top action could be so boring.
The Grifters.
I thought it was going to be a con-artist movie, not an updated version of Oedipus. Grossss.
The Hollywood Knights.
I think I saw this on cable when I was really young. I only rated it "hate" because I'm not into immature 80s screwball comedies any more.
A Knight's Tale.
Chaucer as a cool skinny dude? Medieval people dancing to rock music? Heath was better than this.
Mars Attacks.
One of those movies that you keep thinking, any minute, will become hilarious but never does.
Open Range.
Perhaps I was unfair to this one. It's not Costner's worst.
Orange County.
Unfunny. Chevy Chase high on ecstacy could not save it.
Pollock.
Reaaaally boring look at the artist's life.
Portrait of Hell.
This is a Japanese period piece I watched in connection with a history class. My history class was more interesting and entertaining. Nonsensical story and drawn-out screaming make this unwatchable.
A Prairie Home Companion.
Love the radio show. Hate the movie. Not funny. Not interesting. No plot. No resolution. No Lake Woebegon story, which is the real sin.
Pride and Prejudice.
This is the Kiera-Knightly-Is-Beautiful version, which I detest simply because the BBC miniseries is so amazing.
Rush Hour 2.
The first one was funny and alive.
Shakes the Clown.
Sorry, Bobcat, but you could never pull off a lead character.
Shooter.
Too ridiculous.
Simon Birch.
I hate this movie on principle: it should never have been made. It was based loosely on A Prayer for Owen Meany, one of the best books of the late 20th century. But they drained it of all meaning and made it about a crippled kid. I never saw it and never will.
Terminator 3.
Linda Hamilton said this movie had no heart. Linda Hamilton was being kind.
Underworld.
Vampires! Werewolves! Don't worry about the story, just throw 'em together.
The Upside of Anger.
Ah. This is one of Costner's worst. Makes no sense.
What Dreams May Come.
There are movies that tug at your heartstrings. Then there are movies that try to snake up your rectum and manipulate your heart into emotions as if it were playdough. I felt used.
Wild Wild West.
Robots! Guns! Will Smith!
X-Men 3: The Last Stand.
...no. No. Do-over. DO-OVER. Do-over, Hulk-style.

I usually can tell if I'll hate a movie or not, so I don't tend to see movies I know I'll really hate. That's why there are so few on this list. There are plenty of movies I'm sure I would not love, but I'm not willing to say if I'd hate them or just dislike them without actually seeing them.

Tastee

2008-12-07T02:12:00.003-05:00

I'm at the Tastee Diner in Silver Spring, using the wireless network. The Tastee is a 24-hour diner just a few blocks from the Silver Spring Metro station, and its internet connection is free (there's an annoying sign on the door about limiting use to 30min on the weekends, but I'm usually there so late it doesn't matter--it's 2:15 AM now). I'm almost finished analyzing Japanese Twitter users' speech acts. And now I'm completely distracted by the couple in the booth next to mine who just sat down.

The woman is pretty, if a little white-trashy, in her (late?) 30s. The guy has his back to me, is bald, and his neck looks thick with either muscle or fat. I'm somewhat sure they came here hot off the sheets, as they say.

She said as she sat down that she wanted coffee, and he said, "no, you don't want coffee, you should have tea..." Then the waiter came over and the guy said to his companion, "What you want, girl?" She ordered and also asked for coffee and the guy was surprised.

Just a few minutes ago, the guy asked, "How many times did we break up?" The woman said, "Seventeen." The guy said, a little sneeringly, "17? You write that in your diary? How do you know it was 17?" She said "I'm not really sure."

Pattern: when she says something, he repeats it incredulously. They talk about a celebrity, she says "he's my baby," and he says "he's your baby?!"

I have to put in my uncomfortable earphones to avoid the rest of this conversation disaster.

RCN Might Not Be Better Than Comcast

2008-12-06T16:33:00.002-05:00

I have always thought Comcast's customer service was terrible. Despite them having a Twitter account and responding to my calls of distress that way, they took forever to reconnect my service, bungling it all the way for over a month. I've had other friends who were disconnected for over three months until they decided to go with another company. So when I was moving into a house that had RCN already hooked up, I was quite pleased.

RCN was going really well... but now it's been 6 days without internet and I need internet for school. This is so going down on your permanent record, RCN.

I called RCN once to ask what was going on (we had no TV and no broadband connection). The first time, I was put on hold for over thirty minutes, and when someone finally picked up my call, they were less than helpful. They said it was an area problem, but could not tell me any more than that. I hung up, powerless.

I called again two days later (Friday). The woman who answered was much more helpful, even though she had me go through the motions of "power-cycling" my cable box. (I knew it would do no good.) she scheduled an appointment for next week.

If the repairman comes, and if there is no mixup in the system, and especially if the problem is fixed in the one visit, I will have to say that RCN is better than Comcast in the DC area. I will let you know.

Axis Bar and Grill

2008-12-01T14:32:00.006-05:00

Location: 1340 U Street NW, between 13th and 14th Streets, near the U Street Metro station.
Website: http://www.axisbarandgrill.com/

A small, quietish bar and lounge with decent appetizers and good service. We arrived around 9:30 and were able to secure a bunch of the tables on the upper level. This was key to my enjoyment; I don't like standing around in a crowd. We were able to talk without shouting most of the night, which is also very important to me in a bar. The music was forgettable, but that's forgivable. The atmosphere was a touch classier than your average U street hole, welcoming and not pretentious.

The waitress was cute but a bit too sassy, shushing my friend (whose birthday we were celebrating). She was friendly, though, and, though she seemed busy with the floor below, she made sure to take care of us at our table. She even refilled my water glass multiple times without my asking. And she was knowledgeable about the alcohol; she gave one friend a list of her favorite drinks and how they tasted different from each other. He was pleased with her recommendations.

I had the calamari, a slider (mini-burger) and a bit of the spinach & artichoke dip. The dip was too hot for us hungry fools, burning us as we swallowed it down, but it was all right; the only complaint would be the small amount of toast we received with it. The calamari was above average: the squid was soft and evidently "flash-fried" as the menu suggested, leaving a texture other than the normal deep-fried-tire variety. The sauce was creamy and a bit hard to place--slightly spicy and a little tart. The sliders were excellent and gone in 60 seconds. The meat was flavorful and juicy. The bun was a bit like fat pieces of an Italian baguette--plain, airy, much wider than the mini-burger--but it fit the flavorful contents.

The appetizers were priced appropriately (6-9 dollars) but were not incredibly generous. The entrees looked good but a bit pricey. With Car Bombs costing $10 each, and with us ordering 24 of those through the night, there was no need to consider anything past appetizers.

Politics: The Ron Paul Ride

2008-11-20T23:29:00.003-05:00

Like every other creature of the digital age, during the Republican primaries I didn't really know much about Ron Paul but I liked hearing about him. I never considered he'd be a viable candidate, so I didn't bother to hear out his policies.

The Freakonomics blog has published Paul's responses to Freakonomics-blog commenters' questions (part 1 and part 2). And they're... scary. He says a few things that make sense, but then seems to go off the deep end into insanity and then pop right back up to common-sense stuff, all smiles.

For example, his take on the question "Do you deny global warming?"

I try to look at global warming the same way I look at all other serious issues: as objectively and open-minded as possible. There is clear evidence that the temperatures in some parts of the globe are rising, but temperatures are cooling in other parts. The average surface temperature had risen for several decades, but it fell back substantially in the past few years.
Clearly there is something afoot. The question is: Is the upward fluctuation in temperature man-made or part of a natural phenomenon. Geological records indicate that in the 12th century, Earth experienced a warming period during which Greenland was literally green and served as rich farmland for Nordic peoples. There was then a mini ice age, the polar ice caps grew, and the once-thriving population of Greenland was virtually wiped out.

It is clear that the earth experiences natural cycles in temperature. However, science shows that human activity probably does play a role in stimulating the current fluctuations.

The question is: how much? Rather than taking a “sky is falling” approach, I think there are common-sense steps we can take to cut emissions and preserve our environment. I am, after all, a conservative and seek to conserve not just American traditions and our Constitution, but our natural resources as well.
We should start by ending subsidies for oil companies. And we should never, ever go to war to protect our perceived oil interests. If oil were allowed to rise to its natural price, there would be tremendous market incentives to find alternate sources of energy. At the same time, I can’t support government “investment” in alternative sources either, for this is not investment at all.

Did you see that sanity loop-de-loop? He starts out by saying that he looks at everything objectively. Then he squirts out a few facts about the "Little Ice Age" in Greenland. Then he makes all that moot by saying that science shows human activity "probably does play a role" in the current upward trend.

Why go into that spiel about Greenland if you're going to talk about what the majority of scientists agree on? Why bring that up at all? It makes no sense.

Of course, allowing oil to rise to its natural price is a daring, flashy, and, dare I say it, good idea. Why the craziness roller-coaster ride, Ron Paul?

Other examples: He refuses to say anything about how unqualified Sarah Palin was for VP (which is nearly undeniable), yet he's negative about her because she would have to "toe the line on foreign policy and the war." And then there's the Department of Educuation abolition. Paul wants to dismantle it. Here's why:

First, the Constitution does not authorize the Department of Education, and the founders never envisioned the federal government dictating those education policies.

Second, it is a huge bureaucracy that squanders our money. We send billions of dollars to Washington and get back less than we sent. The money would be much better off left in states and local communities rather than being squandered in Washington.

Finally, I think that the smallest level of government possible best performs education. Teachers, parents, and local community leaders should be making decisions about exactly how our children should be taught, not Washington bureaucrats. The Department of Education has given us No Child Left Behind, massive unfunded mandates, indoctrination, and in come cases, forced medication of our children with psychotropic drugs. We should get rid of all of that and get those choices back in the hands of the people.

So much sense, yet so much batsh&t insanity. I mean, reform the Department, but don't demolish it. At my very basic level of understanding, the Dept. of Ed. makes sure that schools in poor communities have at least some money. Ron Paul would seem to think that schools in poor communities should, what? Close up shop? Not pay their teachers? Maybe every poor black kid in Baltimore should stay at home and be home-schooled? Maybe Ron Paul is not concerned about Baltimore inner-city kids? Maybe Ron Paul should say something about them? Or maybe people who are interested in Ron Paul aren't really interested in inner-city kids. After all, the only people who like Ron Paul... have computers.

Re: A Defeatist Throw Down

2008-11-20T10:31:00.004-05:00

Pick up the slack, eh? Well, that was a over a week ago and I am now blogging again.

Whaddya know, when you're busy you don't give as much time to hobbies as when you're not. I blog today after a test last night and a quiz shortly preceding that, and I'm still working full time. Getting a test done is like a weight off my shoulders every time. I hate the tension going in and LOVE the relaxation coming out - provided I was happy with the performance, of course. Last night's was harder than the rest and I definitely sullied my 100 average for the course, but I found it more satisfying. There were a couple questions I simply did not know know until I sat there and stared at a blank page for about ten minutes, started the problem incorrectly, suddenly realized something, then started over. The "click" is what it's all about. It's like a drug. I want more.

Aak and I got into a fight the other night about politics. I was arguing from a position of how I don't know and I probably can't know anything, and he was saying that I can and do know more than I think I know. Maybe. I acknowledge that the convo. got extremely unfocused on my part because I didn't have a defensible argument. I did get downright enraged at one point because of how he was making a particular point. He was making the point that a person in a position of influence has to make decisions based on partial information. The conversation went something like:

A: Did you see An Inconvenient Truth?
H: Yes.
A: Did you see that graph that he showed?
H: Yes.
A: What if you were president and someone were to bring that info. to you and ask you to make a decision on [given issue] based on that information?
H: Well, I'd ask for clarification or further...
A: ...pick one...
H: ...uh, well, I don't remember that chart off hand, but I remember it being ridiculously cherry picked and biased...
A: ...pick one...
H: (getting annoyed) ...Aak, I would need further expla...
A: ...pick one...
H: ...look, you realize that I would need to ask knowledgable advisors who I trust and would respond to ques...
A: ...pick one...
H: ...You're really starting to piss me off...
A: ...pick one...
H: ...Dude, what's your pro...
A: ...pick one...
H: ...AAK! YOU'RE BEING A [very disagreeable individual]!!!...[Further yells, screams, and expletives]...

The conversation is getting me in a tizzy as I think about it now.

Subject change.

Why do some lighters have two chambers in them? Is it because when It gets low, there's less room in the wick-feeding chamber to spread out at the bottom, so it's pushed upwards along the wick and you get a little more life out of it? If so, then why two equal-sized chambers? Why not one chamber about the width of the wick and one frickin' 'uge chamber to contain the reservoir? Perhaps another explanation: is it so that the divider can take up more space and they can fill the lighter to the same level with less fluid and you have to buy a new one sooner? Planned obsolescence? Unfortunately for this boggler I don't smoke, so I don't have an extensive sample set of lighters to keep this inquiry open over time.

Bicycling: Core Values Are Rotten on the Road

2008-11-19T14:16:00.002-05:00

The reason for the bloated bike-blogging today is this: Chris Core pissed me off.

Chris Core is a radio personality, responsible for "Core Values" on WTOP. Perhaps he does other stuff, but I don't care to look into his credentials. I'm just going to take him at his words. Last week, Core made a commentary entitled "Growing Phenomenon of Bicycle Road Rage." Here is the transcript, taken from TheWashCycle.com:

It's very impractical for a 5,000 lb vehicle that can go 80 mph to equally share the road with a 20 lb bike that does about 15 tops. Yet, bikers now apparently feeling newly empowered seem to feel it's perfectly fine for them to ride right in the middle of traffic doing 15 mph and get hostile when you drive around them.

Furthermore, many of them drive on narrow roads, like Beach Drive in Rock Creek Park, right next to the, um, bike path. And although they claim equal road rights and moral superiority over those of us in motorized vehicles, they are horrible scofflaws when it comes to passing, cutting in and out of traffic, and little details like stop signs. Not a sermon, just a thought. Two way courtesy is a core value.

I emailed Mr. Core (referring to myself as "non-scofflaw cyclist"), and I thought I was very even-handed. I agreed that two-way courtesy was key, and that that point was absolutely essential. I then pointed out the law that bikes are entitled to and supposed to use the road. I pointed out that the Rock Creek Park bike path is in terrible shape and is dangerous to ride. I reasoned that, since all bikers LOVE bike paths, for them to choose to use the road must mean that the path is really awful. And finally I admonished him for adding fuel to the fire that I deal with every day--the anger and maliciousness of drivers who don't even know that bikes are allowed to be on the road.

It seems that TheWashCycle's and other blogs' posts about Core's bike-hatred got around, because Core did another segment about how stupid the emails he had gotten were. TheWashCycle is again on top of this one, but here's the transcript for my readers:

OK guys, eleven days ago I did a commentary about how more and more people are using bicycles to commute; and about how difficult it is for bike and car commuters to share the same road and how hostile I think some bikers have become. You can hear it here.

I have since received dozens of really angry emails. That's because somebody transcribed my commentary and put it in the blogosphere. Thus giving thousands of bikers the opportunity to show me their, um, lack of hostility by writing to me.

Mike called me "morally bankrupt."
Russ called me a "dumbass."
Bruce says I'm "mean and anti-social."
Joe said I "ruined his day."

The reaction was so angry that I'm devoting a full segment to the issue on my Channel 50 TV show this coming weekend.

My favorite email came from freewheeler who wrote, "Bike commuters don't tune to WTOP for traffic and weather. Did you say what you did because you're afraid of losing your captive audience?" The answer to that is, well, yes. That's exactly why I wrote the commentary to keep WTOP #1.

Taking one for the team is a Core Value.

So I emailed Core again, saying that his cherrypicking was unfair and made me doubt that he was serious about "two way courtesy". I suggest anyone reading this to email him here and tell him he doesn't deserve a driver's license, if his understanding of the law is that shallow.

Bicycling: Cars and Bikes Are Different

2008-11-19T13:48:00.002-05:00

A lot of my posts seem too obvious to bother writing. And yet, people out there don't seem to think the way I do. Or perhaps they've never bothered to cogitate a little about them.

Cars and bikes are different. Cars can go faster and cause more damage than bikes can.

When I'm in a car, and another car does something erratic, I'll lay on my horn and yell at him if I think it'll get the driver to pay attention to what he's doing. If a car is tailgating me for going only 5mph above the speed limit, I'll tap my brakes to let the driver know what he's doing is assholish, and if that doesn't get him to stop, I'll gently brake and make the tailgater suffer even more. On the flipside, if a woman is in front of me and is going 10mph under the speed limit, I'll probably tailgate her.

Why do I do this? Am I a traffic cop? No. I just think that the other drivers around me are even worse drivers than I am (and I know I'm bad). I want to make them aware that they aren't doing the correct things, and that they are endangering me or hindering me.

Drivers need to realize that they can't do the same thing to bicyclists, because cars and bikes are different.

When you're driving and a bike cuts you off, it's fine to honk. At that point, the cyclist is aware of you and aware that you have a legit grievance. Also, since the cyclist cut you off, you are behind her, and thus she is more safe and can handle a honk.

But I can think of no other time when a car should honk or accost a bicyclist. At any other time, the cyclist does not need your grief. It is dangerous enough biking on the road; your anger and your expression of that anger greatly increases the danger you are putting the cyclist in.

Do not pass bikes closely (by law you need to give two feet at least). And do not yell at bikers while you pass them. If you are both in motion, the cyclist is very, very frightened of the possibility that she will crash into you or that you will distract her from the arduous task of biking. This is why I yelled at the guy who almost killed me in October.

Don't honk at a bike when it's going through a red light. I don't do this any more*, but one time last year I did**. I stopped, looked, saw no one coming, started to go through, and midway a car honked at me. I almost fell off of my bike, looking to see if a car was coming at me, but none were; it was just some douchebag*** who felt the need to endanger me even more than I was already endangering myself.

Don't stop short in front of bikes or tailgate bikes or otherwise physically accost bikes. This is totally illegal.

Please, even though you have to share the road with us, please remember that, in your cars, you are much more dangerous than we bikers will ever be.

Drivers, would you wave a machete at someone who cut in front of you in line? Would you point a gun at an unarmed man who simply stood in the sidewalk, (unintentionally or intentionally) blocking your way? Bikes and cars are unequal weaponry, and using your car to intimidate bikers is unethical.

*I am the most non-scofflaw biker I know. It's hard to bike with other bikers, since they all go through the red lights and I don't.
**In my defense, it was the first time I had ever ridden down Wisconsin Avenue and dealt with the entitled f*cks who were nearly clipping me every chance they got. I thought it best to get where I was going in the least time possible.
***Definite douchebag. As he passed me after his light turned green, he said all snidely "You ran a red light back there." Then he stopped at the next light. I went up to him, and tried to have a conversation with him, but he stared straight ahead, would not look at me.

Bicycling: What MD/DC/VA Law Says about Using the Road

2008-11-19T12:47:00.006-05:00

I've been over this many times before. I'm just going to lay it out for you. This post will tell you what bikes are legally entitled and mandated to do on the roads in DC, MD, and VA. First, the basics:

Bikes are allowed on any road (under 50mph) as much as cars are.
Bikes should keep to the right except when it's not safe.

Below is all the proof.

In Maryland law (from the PDF), here are the sections that deal with what roads are usable.

21-1202 Traffic laws apply to bicycles and motor scooters
Every person operating a bicycle or a motor scooter in a public bicycle area has all the rights granted to and is subject to all the duties required of the the driver of a vehicle by this title, including the duties set forth in 21-504 of this title except:
(1) As otherwise provided in this subtitle; and
(2) For those provisions of this subtitle that by their very nature cannot apply.

21-1205.1 Bicycles, motor scooters, and EPAMD’s prohibited on certain roadways and highways; speed limit.
(a)
In general -Notwithstanding any other provision of this title, a person may not ride a bicycle or motor scooter;
(1)
On any roadway where the posted maximum speed limit is more than 50 miles per hour [Cyclists may operate on the shoulder of a roadway where the posted speed limit exceeds 50 mph unless otherwise prohibited.]; or
(2)
On any expressway, except on an adjacent bicycle path or way approved by the State Highway Administration, or on any other controlled access highway signed in accordance with 21-313 of this title.
(b)
Roadway with bike lane or shoulder paved to a smooth surface. –
(1)
Where there is a bike lane paved to a smooth surface or a shoulder paved to a smooth surface [COMAR October 29, 1979 defines smooth surface as a surface that has a texture equal to or better than the adjacent roadway and if the surface contains undulations which are no longer than the adjacent roadway.], a person operating a bicycle or a motor scooter shall use the bike lane or shoulder and may not ride on the roadway, except in the following situations:
(i)
When overtaking and passing another bicycle, motor scooter, pedestrian, or other vehicle within the bike lane or shoulder;
(ii)
When preparing for a left turn at an intersection or into an alley, private road, or driveway;
(iii) When reasonably necessary to leave the bike lane or shoulder to avoid debris or other hazardous condition; or
(iv)
When reasonably necessary to leave the bike lane or shoulder because the bike lane or shoulder is overlaid with a right turn lane, merge lane, or other marking that breaks the continuity of the bike lane or shoulder.
(2)
A person operating a bicycle or a motor scooter may not leave a bike lane or shoulder until the movement can be made with reasonable safety and the only after giving an appropriate signal.
(3)
The Department shall promulgate rules and regulations pertaining to this subsection which will include, but not limited to, a definition of “smooth surface.”
(c)
Motor scooter speed limit – A motor scooter may not be operated at a speed in excess of 30 miles per hour.
(d)
Restrictions on operating EPAMDs. – Notwithstanding any other provision of this title, a person may not operate an EPAMD on any roadway where there are sidewalks adjacent to the roadway or the posted maximum speed limit is more than 30 miles per hour.
(e)
EPAMD speed limit

Here is DC law, which is even less restrictive about road use for bikes:

1201.1 Every person who propels a vehicle by human power or who rides a bicycle on a highway shall have the same duties as any other vehicle operator under this title, except as otherwise expressly provided in this chapter, and except for those duties imposed by this title which, by their nature or wording, can have no reasonable application to a bicycle operator.

(There's nothing about bikes needing to stick to bike lanes or shoulders, let alone bike paths. Nothing. Read through the whole thing if you want.)

Virginia law (you can find it here):

§ 46.2-800. Riding bicycles, electric personal assistive mobility devices, electric power-assisted bicycles, or mopeds; riding or driving animals. Every person riding a bicycle, electric personal assistive mobility device, electric power-assisted bicycle, moped, or an animal or driving an animal on a highway shall be subject to the provisions of this chapter and shall have all of the rights and duties applicable to the driver of a vehicle, unless the context of the provision clearly indicates otherwise.

Right-Side Rules for Bikes

Bicyclists do not always have to use the rightmost side of the road. They should only be on the right if there is enough room on their left for a car to pass them without going into the other lane. Other safety factors are at play here, too, but that's the most damning one for all drivers who angrily (and dangerously) pass bikers and snarl "get on the right".

MD law (the same PDF as above):

21-1205 Riding on roadways or on highway.
(a)
Riding to right side of roadway. – Each person operating a bicycle or a motor scooter at a speed less than the speed traffic at the time and place and under the conditions then existing on a roadway shall ride as near to the right side of the roadway as practicable and safe, except when:
(1)
Making or attempting to make a left turn;
(2)
Operating on a one-way street;
(3)
Passing a stopped or slower moving vehicle;
(4)
Avoiding pedestrians or road hazards;
(5)
The right lane is a right turn lane; or
(6)
Operating in a lane that is too narrow for a bicycle or motor scooter and another vehicle to travel safely side by side within the lane.
(b)
Riding two abreast. – Each person operating a bicycle or motor scooter on a roadway may ride two abreast only if the flow of traffic is unimpeded.
(c)
Passing. – Each person operating a bicycle or motor scooter on a roadway shall exercise due care when passing a vehicle.
(d)
Walking bicycles on right side of highway. – Each person operating a bicycle or motor scooter on a roadway may walk the bicycle or motor scooter on the right side of a highway if there is no sidewalk.

DC law (PDF)

1201.2
(b) Except as provided in paragraph (c) of this subsection and in subsection 2202.9 of this title, any person operating a bicycle upon a roadway at less than the normal speed of traffic at the time and place and under the conditions then existing shall travel as closely as practicable to the right-hand curb or edge of the roadway, or as closely as practicable to the left-hand curb or edge of the roadway when on a one-way street.
(c) Any person operating a bicycle may move away from the positions described in subsection (b) as necessary under any of the following situations:
(1)
When overtaking and passing another bicycle or other vehicle proceeding in the same direction;
(2)
When preparing for a turn;
(3)
When reasonably necessary to avoid conditions including, but not limited to, fixed or moving objects, parking or moving vehicles, vehicle doors that are or may open, bicycles, pedestrians, animals, surface hazards, or substandard width lanes that make it unsafe to remain near the curb or edge of the roadway. For purposes of this section, a "a substandard width "lane" means a lane or other area on the roadway that is too narrow for a bicycle and an overtaking vehicle to travel safely side by side within the lane. Any lane that is eleven 11 feet wide or less shall be presumed be a substandard width lane for purposes of this subsection;
(4)
When necessary to comply with lane use restrictions; or
(5)
When necessary for the bicyclist's safety.

And VA law (exact section):

§ 46.2-905. Riding bicycles, electric personal assistive mobility devices, electric power-assisted bicycles, motor-driven cycles, and mopeds on roadways and bicycle paths.

Any person operating a bicycle, electric personal assistive mobility device, electric power-assisted bicycle, or moped on a roadway at less than the normal speed of traffic at the time and place under conditions then existing shall ride as close as safely practicable to the right curb or edge of the roadway, except under any of the following circumstances:

1. When overtaking and passing another vehicle proceeding in the same direction;

2. When preparing for a left turn at an intersection or into a private road or driveway;

3. When reasonably necessary to avoid conditions including, but not limited to, fixed or moving objects, parked or moving vehicles, pedestrians, animals, surface hazards, or substandard width lanes that make it unsafe to continue along the right curb or edge;

4. When avoiding riding in a lane that must turn or diverge to the right; and

5. When riding upon a one-way road or highway, a person may also ride as near the left-hand curb or edge of such roadway as safely practicable.

For purposes of this section, a "substandard width lane" is a lane too narrow for a bicycle, electric personal assistive mobility device, electric power-assisted bicycle, motorized skateboard or scooter, or moped and another vehicle to pass safely side by side within the lane.

Okay, now that I've put this on the Internet, all drivers will instantly become aware of it and stop endangering my life to spit at me about going over to the right.

Glad that's over with.

The Lack of Posts Post

2008-11-12T20:07:00.002-05:00

Sorry for the lack of reading material. Since the message of our President-Elect is non-partisanship, I've been avoiding posting about Palin's attack on bloggers, Limbaugh's "the game has begun" comment, and so on. I've also avoided expressing my happiness about the administration-to-be. I suppose it would be more appropriate to express my anxiety about Obama and what the heck we can expect from him; I suppose mainly we can expect him to continue tearing down President Bush and his policies. Is that a good thing? I'm not sure.

I've been stuck at home every day, studying and reading and learning Japanese. So no Metro stories, no reviews, not much to write about. This may continue until well into December, when I'm safely out of test range. I'd like to hope that my co-blogger will take up the slack even more, but I'm not sure how realistic that hope is.

Around Town

2008-11-09T11:09:00.003-05:00

With Aak having interesting experiences on the Metro, I began wondering if I'm just not paying attention. I'm sure everyone has tellable stuff happen to them but don't have the story collecting mindset. So, I'm mentally running through stuff that has happened to me.

Well, there's always the annoying drunk people. Last night was the frat boys that kept addressing each other as "son."

There's the fighting couples. They're pretty funny.

There's the homeless Vietnam veteran in a wheel chair I bent over to help into the car, only to be overwhelmed by his urine smell. Then I sat near him while he mumbled to himself and occasionally burst out with "that's some godd*** sh**!" That made me sad.

That's about all I can think of. I always sit at the bench at the far end of the platform and immediately take out a book. If I don't have a book (rare) I do the Express or Examiner crossword puzzle. For a little while I got into the morning routine of doing them. It was kind of neat to watch myself get steadily better. I've noticed that whenever I have it out, people always say "oh, I'm no good at those." It's like it's in the collective unconscious to have a hang up about sucking at x-word puzzles.

Happy memory: gf and I went to the Arlington Cemetery the other day. First we went to the Kennedy grave (didn't know two children were buried there: one stillborn and one died in infancy.) While there we met the most friendly and helpful security guard. Then we went to the tomb of the unknown soldier and watched the changing of the guard. For those who haven't had the pleasure, in the ceremony there's the old guard, new guard, and some guy who seems in charge and tells them what to do. I didn't expect that guy to turn and address us, which he did and told us to stand. One woman, who we suspect didn't speak English, stayed seated. He stopped the ceremony and demanded that she stand before continuing. During the experience I started feeling patriotic. I love such things. Then they kicked kicked everyone off the grounds because the park was closed but we disobeyed and wandered a little. My paranoid side felt convinced that there was a sniper perched somewhere watching us.

Prop 8: A Genetic Explanation?

2008-11-08T02:05:00.004-05:00

A long time ago, my father and I briefly discussed gay marriage and why he thought it was okay for Bush to prevent homosexual matrimony. "A society has a right to support the kind of behavior that it wants," he said. I replied, "So why is gay marriage not worth supporting?" He said that was a good question, but he did not respond.

Proposition 8 went ahead in California, and thus gay marriage was banned. Similar situations in Arizona and Florida. Lots of liberals are shaking their heads and asking "why?"

I have an answer for them, but maybe it's so obvious that it doesn't bear blogging about. On second thought, when has that stopped me?

I have another story about my father. I was young, maybe pre-teen. My parents were together in the kitchen with me. I think we were discussing something about Church. I think I said something like, "So, if I'm supposed to follow the Bible, shouldn't I try to become a priest?"

My mother was like, "No, no no no." My father said, "[mom's name], if he wants to become a priest, that's fine." My mother looked like she was swallowing something too large for her throat. My father said, "Aak, if that makes you happy, that's fine. But priests can't have children, so we wouldn't get to have any grandkids. But you should do whatever you want."

My father was a laissez-faire type of parent, most of the time. In this particular case, he was using it so as not to have me rebel and become a priest after all.

I share this story with the world because it illustrates my point: humans have a biological need for their line to continue. Most parents want grandkids.

That's why your mother asks you if you're seeing anyone. That's why in-laws get so crazy. And that's why people oppose gay marriage.

It's not because they want to deny people rights. I think most Americans understand that it's discriminatory, and that discriminating on that basis is wrong, unAmerican, and against the Constitution.

It's because supporting a homosexual lifestyle in any way means the further "gaying" of America, and that means no grandkids.

If you can't follow that logic, then you haven't spent much time with conservatives.

The people who want to "protect marriage" really just want their DNA to continue. They want their genetic material to flourish in another generation and another until the end of time (or the End Times). They think that, by taking this stand, they will hold back the tide of gayness becoming OK, less taboo, a thing that anybody can have, choose, or be. If gay people are shown on TV, in books, in movies, well, I guess Sarah Palin's censorship policy will work for those. But if the gays can get married? Then little Ritchie will start thinking it's okay to like his friend Jimmy, and cute little Margot will ask for Birkenstocks and start having late-night studying sessions with that girl named Jo.

It's just too bad for conservatives, though. They can't stem the tide. And they'll be doing more damage to their children by avoiding the subject or making it taboo. So I don't agree with the people who passed Prop 8, but I do understand why they did it. Their DNA told them to.

Biking: Nice People on the Roads

2008-11-07T00:23:00.002-05:00

Mr. Hatandcoat has commented that all my horrific biking stories make him want to bike less. I don't want to be responsible for his biking interest becoming stunted. So here's something nice.

I am not a scofflaw cyclist. I follow the laws of the road. This sometimes causes more delays, because people are expecting me to be another speedy biker with a chip on his shoulder.

Tonight, biking to Haydee's Restaurant in Mt. Pleasant, I came to a stop sign. There was a car coming the other way. We stopped at the stop signs at the same time. I was holding my arm out to the left, indicating a left turn. I went forward slowly in a straight line as the car facing me started to go. Then the car stopped, seemingly waiting for me to make the left. I had to say "Go ahead" and jerk my head the way the car should go in order to get him to clear the intersection so I could turn left.

The driver assumed I was holding out my left arm to signal an instant left turn. He thought I was going to put on a burst of speed and cut across his path. He's been trained by other cyclists to believe the worst of us.

Stopping at red lights confuses people, too. When my side has a red, and the oncoming traffic has green, and the driver sees me slowing down to stop at the red light, they slow down, too, just in case I'm going to book it through the intersection. It happens a lot.

Tonight, after making that left turn at the stop sign, I came upon another stop sign. An old lady was crossing in front of me. I slowed down, but the lady stopped midway across anyway. I said "Go ahead, you have the right of way." She said thanks and finished crossing.

It's not all bad for cyclists. Respect the law, and you'll find that some people will be pleasantly surprised by you.

Aaaaaaaaaaha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

2008-11-06T16:33:00.003-05:00

I love comedy. Who doesn't? I was chatting with a couple of my coworkers at the restaurant, and they all shockingly agreed in comedy as a valuable past-time. One's take on it was that it was a good endorphin rush. He has a drug habit, so his input has a bit of an edge to it.

Off the top of my head, comedians whose standup has made me laugh over the years: Dane Cook, George Carlin, Eddie Izzard (only Dressed to Kill really, but my fave performance of all time), Kat Williams, Dennis Leary, Dana Carvey, David Spade, Jay Mohr, the guy who opened up for Jay Mohr, Eddie Murphy, Greg Giraldo, the guys who performed with Greg Giraldo that night, Ray Romano (yes, that one), and a whole bunch more whose names I don't know or who I'm forgetting. I'm sure some early stuff from Robin Williams and Steve Martin and Jerry Seinfeld and others are great. Louis CK is supposed to be awesome, but I haven't seen him. But one guy I've caught on comedy central and really liked was Bill Burr. And we have tickets to see him at the improv tomorrow night.

When I first saw him on a comedy special I thought he was kind of boring, then he kept going and going and proved a natural storyteller. I like that as he goes on over time he gets more and more animated, seeming to settle into more of a rhythm. I imagine if I were to do standup I'd have like a minute or two of good stuff that I'd take months to develop, then I'd fizzle out. The good story tellers really impress me and have my envy.

Here's a short clip:

He's a pretty negative guy in his standup, which turns me off more and more these days, but I can't help laughing at it. The fact that he can be pretty crass doesn't bother me in the least. That's my style sometimes.

I'm psyched.

Oh, I just remembered, he's apparently a regular on some radio show called Opie and Anthony that my brother in law listens to. Don't know the show. Anway,

I'm psyched.

McCain: The Battle Lost Before It Had Begun?

2008-11-05T21:50:00.003-05:00

I read this article that speculates on the how and why of McCain's defeat, and how sad it is.

I'm not that sad. I think McCain shifted way right over the past eight years, and that shift led to his divisive campaign. But the author of the post I linked to above makes a few points that make me wonder. Here are his suppositions:

The Republican party wanted to run against Hillary.
Obama became the frontrunner.
Republican hopes collapsed--they thought they couldn't win unless it was against Hillary.
They chose someone who wouldn't be able to run again in 2012.
McCain was pointed to Palin because, unlike Romney or someone competent, she wasn't going to damage a 2012 run, either.

I don't know that I agree with all the points there--it's not like the Republican party said "Oh well, let's let McCain have a little fun, since we're going to lose anyway." I also don't think that McCain was made to pick Palin since she couldn't possibly run in 2012. It's possible that McCain was steered away from Romney, or that Romney and other serious contenders evaluated McCain's chances and just said no.

But I will agree with the statement that the "Republicans were sure they could defeat Hillary Clinton." I can clearly remember the beady-eyed eagerness I heard in Limbaugh's voice in January this year. The rhetoric that was just beginning. The laughing and pointing. The rolling-out of the old anti-Clinton feeling.

I knew that Hillary Clinton would be an excellent choice for President, but I felt that she would not be successful in capturing a majority of the votes. Too much hostility was already in the air, in the beginning of the year and even in 2007. That's why I argued with my friends who were so pro-Hillary. I told them that Obama was more electable and had more cross-appeal. They did not believe me at the time.

I believe an "I told you so" is in order.

Omphaloskepsis*: Districted v. Hatandcoat

2008-11-05T14:16:00.003-05:00

Okay, I think I'm getting the distinction now, between this blog and my other shared blog. Here on "Districted," I will share stories of stuff I do out and about in the District, like talking to a dude in line for free ice cream. Or I'll post stuff that might be of interest to people who don't know me, like the Election Day deals.

Over at "Hatandcoat," I'll post stuff like what the atmosphere was like in my house when Obama's win was announced. Not really relevant to a lot of people, that.

And I know, when I asked people what they wanted to see in this blog, a "random" person said pumpkin-related posts would be highly welcome. I'm working on it.

*Explanation.

Free Stuff for Voting: Ice Cream with a Friend

2008-11-04T18:25:00.004-05:00

I walked through the rain for some Ben & Jerry's. I got there at 5:10, and there was a line, but it was really short. I took my place behind a guy in a black hooded sweatshirt and held my umbrella above him and me. (It's a really big umbrella. Some Jewish girls who did not look old enough to vote got in line behind me and also stayed underneath my umbrella; I could hear some of them giggling about it.)

After a while, the guy in the black sweatshirt turned his head just a little and said "Who'd you vote for?"

I identified him as a crazy, obviously, but there wasn't much to do about it. I said, "Oh, you know..."

He made a face and said, "Oh, um, okay, you don't have to."

I said, "The younger one."

He said, "Aww yeah," and terrorist-fist-bashed me.

He went on to say that even if I voted for McCain, that would be cool, but for him, he didn't want a 72-year-old in the White House, and he didn't want 4 more years of Bushlike stuff. Then he made sure I understood that his sticker was missing because it fell off... or maybe he had changed clothes from when he voted... it was unclear. I went into my crazy-dealing mode, smiling, nodding, but not really saying much. I did however assure him that you didn't need a sticker to get free ice cream.

Then he said, "Did your team win on Sunday?"

"...I'm not really into sports."

He wasn't sure where to go with that. He said, "Not into sports? Why not?"

"Just never got into them."

Sweatshirt guy was quiet for a while, and then said, "You like women?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, well that's two things we can agree on."

"Yep."

"Obama and women. Those are two of our similarities. But you got a job, and I don't."

I smiled, but was silent. It wasn't worth going into that I, too, am jobless while I am going back to school. He might've taken my silence poorly, since he mumbled something about getting around to finding one sometime but then stayed quiet until we got our ice creams.

He had "Chocolate Therapy." I asked for "One Cheesecake Brownie" but got shot down, so I went with Sweet Cream and Cookies.

Outside Ben and Jerry's, sweatshirt guy spoke up one more time. "We meet again."

"Yep." I fiddled with my umbrella. "See you later."

"See you around."

Technology: Google Street View in DC

2008-11-04T17:46:00.004-05:00

I've been waiting for this since before Google rolled out the auto-face-blur. Point the little yellow mini-fig in whatever direction to see what DC looks like.

Pictured above is the beginning or the end of the Capital Crescent Trail in Georgetown. No "trail view" yet, so that's all we can see of the crowded-on-weekends bike trail, but it's enough; I always have a hard time 'splaining how to get on the Trail from M street, and now it should be a lot easier.

(Update: I got this from Google Blogoscoped, not from DCist whose post I read later. I'm not trying to compete with DCist; I'm really not!)

More Election Day Deals at Best Bites Blog

2008-11-04T13:31:00.003-05:00

Instead of updating my previous post yet again, I'll just link you to where you'll find more info.

Best Bites Blog at washingtonian.com (sorry) has a post on more goodies, including:

Chick-Fil-A in Virginia
Books-a-Million
Daily Grill (free appetizer!)
Good Stuff Eatery
Johnny's Half Shell (free margarita!)
Charlie Palmer Steak

Caveats apply. Check out the post for details and links that I can't be bothered to put here right now. http://www.washingtonian.com/blogarticles/9916.html

This is truly the freepocalypse to end all freepocalypses.

Update I: NO STICKER REQUIRED! See comments.

I Voted

2008-11-04T08:53:00.012-05:00

Woke up my roommates at 6am. Made miso soup with daikon, seaweed, green onion, and tofu for the crew. Got to Silver Spring Library at 6:48. Voted at 8:30. Felt awesome.

Election Day Deals (Updated 11pm)

2008-11-03T23:19:00.001-05:00

I'm glad DCist is on top of this story. I get the feeling their post on free deals for having voted will continue to be updated as more businesses try to incentivise voting.

As of this blogpost, there are six deals:

Starbucks (update: does not require a sticker!)
Krispy Kreme
Ben & Jerry's (5-8pm)
Top of the Hill and 18th Amendment (Wednesday from 6)
Dino
California Tortilla
and in the comments, apparently Gifford's is offering free hot chocolate (probably necessary after standing in line at the polls)
Update: Queen of Sheba offering free coffee & cookies to voters.

And I know of another deal at Proteus Bicycles*: 10% off anything, plus an Election Returns party?! Looks like I might have something to do on Election Night after all.

Update II: CakeLove is giving $1 discounts to voters! (via Prince of Petworth)

Update III: see new post.

If you know of any other deals going on for voters in the District of Districted, let me know, eh?

*This tip comes to us via The Abbot of Unreason, our one and only "follower"! Thank you, Abbot.

Sad Commute

2008-11-03T11:00:00.002-05:00

I was late for class this morning, so I didn't take the Sligo Creek Trail (I've been meaning to blog about the Trail for a while, so look for that later). I took my bike on the roads.

I came upon the corner of Arliss and Piney Branch in Silver Spring, in front of the Eastern Carryout. I saw a bunch of people standing together in the parking lot around a pile of stuff. There were five or six men there, standing and looking at the pile. I was at a red light (crazy, a biker stopping for a red light, I know), so I could look in some detail.

The pile was mainly white stuff. Paper cups. A white teddy bear. White plastic bags. And a helium balloon. It looked like a kid's store or a party store had gone out of business and was selling the remnants in the parking lot.

Then I put it together. White teddy bear. Kid's stuff. I edged closer to the stop line and saw a sign that said RIP.

What happened? VH? in a parking lot? Was this the anniversary of someone's kid's death? I wanted to know what had happened, but the light turned green and I went on.

Zipcars and Bicycles: We're Taking Over

2008-11-02T18:58:00.003-05:00

I wanted to go to the store today. Not just any store, though. I wanted to go to Trader Joes and Hinata.

Hinata is an excellent Japanese grocery store boxed into the space of a 4-seat barbershop. Hinata has the cheapest Japanese goods, including rice, mochi, seaweed, miso, natto, green tea, rice crackers, and Japanese curry. They also have the best sushi in Bethesda. Their chirashi (cheap way to have all your favorite fish, cut on top of a bed of rice) is worth fighting for. Hinata is on St. Elmo's Ave in Bethesda. Here's how you get to it from the Metro (10-15 min walk)*:

But I didn't want to take the Metro; Silver Spring to Bethesda is like 45min on a good day. And I didn't want to bike; that would be 40min each way, and I was planning on buying a lot. So I Zipcarred it. Specifically, I biked to a Zipcar about a mile from my house and rented a Honda hybrid for 2.5 hours.

On the road, I saw 2 bicycles on my way to Hinata. On my way home, I saw four bikes. These people weren't just biking for fun or sport; they were using their bikes to get from A to B. You could tell in the way they dressed and the way they rode, as well as the way they all had backpacks on.

I even was behind another Zipcar, with a bike in the backseat. So awesome. I would have done that, but the hybrid's backseat was too small to fit my bike. Instead, I locked up my Trek bike in the parking lot where I got the Zipcar from.

Eff yeah. Bikes are taking over the roads, even outside of the city. H-E-double-hockey-sticks yeah!

*I don't get any money from Hinata or anything. It's run by a sweet lady and her husband, and they don't seem to be marketing themselves very much. Maybe they don't need to, but I'd sure hate for them to go under. Hinata is worlds better than Daruma (also in Bethesda) in that it's cheaper, friendlier, and the fresh food is more of a good value. And yet it seems like nobody ever hears of Hinata, and everybody hears about Daruma. That's got to stop.

Sweetness on the Metro: Gimme Hug Edition

2008-11-01T12:37:00.008-04:00

Saturdays I have a Japanese tutoring appointment, so I usually bike and ride up the Red Line to get to the tutor's neighborhood.

This morning I get out of the train and head straight to the elevator. There's a woman with a stroller behind me and she sounds like she's trying to get to the elevator before me, like she's worried we won't both fit. Not to worry, lady, I think, this elevator's wide enough for four strollers and two bikes.

I get in, turn around, and let the woman and her stroller in. Her daughter's in the stroller, making happy little questions. As the door closes, the little girl says, "Going down?"

"No, this time we're going up."

Sure enough, the elevator confirms the mother is right, saying "Going up."

Daughter: "Going up."

Mother: "That's right."

A little time passes, and the elevator comes to a halt. Daughter says "Going up."

I go through the gate first, followed shortly by the woman and the stroller kid. I go to the next elevator, like a good biker. The woman and her kid come aboard as well. Again I sense an urgency from the woman, drawing in her breath a little loudly as I turn my bike around before letting her in.

The kid says, "Going up." And then the kid says, "Go on a bus...?"

Mother: "No, we're not taking a bus this time."

The kid turns to me and says "Itzabig bike!"

I say "Yes, it is."

I smile at the girl. She looks at me, my bike, me again. She smiles. Then she says, "Gimme hug!" and spreads her arms wide.

My heart melts through my body and onto the red elevator floor.

I don't hug her, though. I'm a big, scary guy with a helmet on and a bike to keep upright. And it's a stranger's child.

The girl says again, more insistently, "Gimme hug!"

The mother says, "She does this to everyone." She looked embarrassed. I still didn't do anything.

The girl says, "Gimme hug?"

The mother: "She's so affectionate." I agree, and add that she is inordinately cute.

The elevator stops and we go separate ways.

I wish I could explain to the girl that I certainly would hug her if we lived in a world where a man could simply show affection to an adorable child that he doesn't know without it being weird. I wish I could tell her that she shouldn't stop offering hugs to people, but maybe she could be a little more selective; just talking to her is not a high-enough criteria in the long run. But mostly I wish I could be that innocent and ask random people for hugs in the elevator of the Metro. That girl lives in a world of love, while I live in a world where people honk and yell at me every day (today included).

She Just Doesn't Understand: Palin on the First Amendment

2008-10-31T18:59:00.002-04:00

Not much to add here. I'm just posting it for the benefit of my random, non-sequitur co-blogger.

The governor of Alaska doesn't understand the First Amendment:

In a conservative radio interview that aired in Washington, D.C. Friday morning, Republican vice presidential nominee Gov. Sarah Palin said she fears her First Amendment rights may be threatened by "attacks" from reporters who suggest she is engaging in a negative campaign against Barack Obama.

Palin told WMAL-AM that her criticism of Obama's associations, like those with 1960s radical Bill Ayers and the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, should not be considered negative attacks. Rather, for reporters or columnists to suggest that it is going negative may constitute an attack that threatens a candidate's free speech rights under the Constitution, Palin said.

"If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations," Palin told host Chris Plante, "then I don't know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media."

Glen Greenwald analyzes this and bangs his head against the wall at Salon.com.

Single Subject Posts Are For Losers

2008-10-31T15:21:00.003-04:00

All along, while gf and I have been taking Argentine Tango lessons, I thought the "Argentine" meant that it wasn't the real thing. Turns out, Tango is a musical genre and its associated dance forms that originated in Buenos Aires, Argentina and Montevideo, Uruguay and spread to the rest of the world soon after that. All right!

My, how things change. When I was a kid I went through a slight biking phase and became familiar with what names meant awesome and what names didn't. I remember that Schwinn back then was a great name. A couple of months ago I found a Schwinn Mesa on Craigslist for 50 bucks that needed a little work. Turns out it needed a lot of work and I got ripped off, but that's beside the point. I saw the name Schwinn and thought "Oh, I can't go wrong with that. I'll be the envy of my 13 year old self." When I took it to the bike guy around here he listed all the stuff wrong with it and as a throw-away comment he mentioned "well, of course, with a Schwinn frame you gotta figure it's [a run down pile of s***]." When I followed up he gave me the low-down of how it used to be a good company until some mass producing folks bought them out and started cranking out bikes to be sold at toy stores. Drat!

I saw a show on the history channel a while ago about sea navigation - I think with pirates. They had some sort of a compass thing that required you to point a straight rod at the sun and all the connected equipment was then aligned properly. That meant that it was someone's job on that boat to stare along that rod and point it straight at the sun. I also saw a show once about torture history. Some Greek king jerk made a giant brass bull with an extended belly under which he would light fires. There was a hatch on the bull's back that would close, and he would trap people inside and light the fire. Between that chamber and the mouth of the bull was a looped fixture that looked like a french horn. Apparently the screams of the victim would filter through this fixture and it would sound like a bull's roar. This Greek king jerk would throw someone in there then have a dinner party in front of it. Eventually he was overthrown.[aak's edit: for the best part of the bull story, see my post here]

Plans: Election Night?

2008-10-30T23:00:00.003-04:00

In 2004, I bit my nails with my uncle and aunt. In 2006, I... um... (checking Gmail)... I don't know what I did in 2006. Stayed in my Van Ness Apartment with Mr. Henry? That doesn't sound right.

Anyway, I wish I could stay up and watch the results come in with people on November 4, but I can't. I have a test in the morning the next day. A really awful test.

What are you doing for Election Night? Are you planning a get-together? Or is it too soon after Halloween to do that?

...

Who am I kidding? I'm not going to be able to study that night!! Who's up for some CNN-watching on Tuesday?

Double-Blog Crisis: Pumpkin Edition

2008-10-30T10:20:00.003-04:00

As many readers have pointed out (okay, one), the distinction between the blog and the other one that I post on is rather vague. I've said before that the other one is more personal and Districted is more universal--it might be of some interest to people that I don't know as well as the people I do know. Mr. Hatandcoat seems to believe that Districted is a "political blog," but that's just because he doesn't read political blogs so he doesn't know how relentless the political blogs are. Districted, on the other hand, relents.

But this "universal/personal"' distinction puts me in a bind. I can't just post to Districted with any old thing in my life. It has to have some sort of value for other humans, like warning them about the timbre of McCain's attack ads and rallies and political ploys, or it has to be District-of-Columbia-centric, like my posts about city biking as well as taking the Metro. I also put District-area reviews here.

But what about when I just wanna talk about my pumpkin-carving last night? Well, I can take the political angle, I guess.

There were two Obama-themed pumpkins carved last night. Here's one of them.

Now reader(s?), please do not misunderstand. OMG is indeed short for Oh My God, but that does not mean that the Obama logo in place of the "Oh" should indicate that the pumpkin-carver meant to say "Obama My God!" No. There are two layers at work here, mixed together in an amusing way. On one layer, the carver is supporting Obama by making the logo. On the other, she is expressing delight, excitement, and surprise at Obama's success in the polls.

One might wonder why someone would carve Obama jack'o'lanterns, when jack'o'lanterns are traditionally the gargoyles of vegetable light sources; they're meant to be scary to scare the really badd stuff away. By this reasoning, I argued, we should all carve McCain or Palin into our pumpkins, as they are truly scary. "That's TOO scary," I was told.

So we focused on other things:

A Siamese-twin pumpkin.

Tradition is bulletproof, like the Man of Steel. Just not dropproof. This Supercarving was destroyed soon after the picture was taken.

A scary clown face. (I supplied the design, but it's all in the execution.)

Spooky Little Prince (this one was mine).

Unfortunately, we did not have the clay-carving tools for finer work. (I think I ruined them two years ago, making the Hand of Fear.)

So, dear reader(s?), what would you like this blog to be? Political? District-oriented? Pumpkin-tastic? We want to hear from YOU.

Transportation: Mandatory Idiocy

2008-10-27T14:35:00.003-04:00

From a WaPo article, via a Twitterpost from a friend:

Metro officials announced today that they will begin randomly inspecting backpacks, gym bags and any other containers that riders carry with them onto the bus and rail system, in an effort to deter possible terrorist attacks.

I am not excited. I am dismayed and angry.

In the searches, transit police will choose a random number ahead of time, such as 17. Then they will ask every 17th rider step aside and have his or her bags searched before boarding a bus or entering a rail station.

Getting angrier.

Police said the inspections would take between 8 to 10 seconds. Those who refuse will not be allowed to enter the system with their carry-on items but will not be detained.

Who the h*ll do they think they are kidding? 8 to 10 seconds?! Even discounting the fact that they could only do the least effective of searches in such a time, 8 to 10 seconds is not realistic. My bookbag has four compartments. My bike-rack bag has three or five, depending on how you look at it. I know some women's purses to have many, many pockets and compartments. Is the transit police officer going to open every single zipper and clasp? Or just the big one, shake it around a little, and wave the person through?

If they do a thorough search of every 17th person, people won't want to ride the Metro system because it makes them late. If they don't do a thorough search, there will be no point, and people still won't want to ride.

Could this be an attempt to curb ridership, just when Metro's experiencing overcrowding?

Finally, I am certain that the transit officers will not be properly trained to deal with the public in this manner. The same problems people have with the TSA will come up: no comprehension of passenger's rights, troubling abuses of authority, nonsensical assumptions about electrical equipment, and perhaps a ban on liquids?

I might never use Metro again, thanks to this. Even from MD to VA, my bike will be a better option, if these actually get implemented as described.

PSA: Don't Give Gift Cards as Presents!

2008-10-26T13:12:00.002-04:00

Found via Grammer Girl's twitterfeed:

...gift cards are not cash. Gift cards are actually a form of debt issued by the company, just like a corporate bond. This means that if a company goes bankrupt and is able to release itself from obligations including debt and bond holders, the gift card is immediately null and void.

So if anyone wants to give me a gift card this holiday season, I would really prefer the greenbacks.

Link to brief article.

(The real question is, did I post this more out of concern for my readership, or more out of concern that Districted had fewer posts than its sister blog, Hatandcoat?)

Whole Paycheck: Snacky Edition

2008-10-26T12:40:00.004-04:00

I went to Whole Foods for groceries the other day. I ended up with a bookbagfull of snacks.

I've been trying out some vegan stuff lately, just to see how it tastes. I like some vegan cookies, especially the variety you see on the right, made by Alternative Baking Company. I love the pumpkin spice one.

At Whole Foods, I picked up Gone Crackers (a wheatless cracker, made with seeds), dried cherries, Kashi trail mix cookies, two kinds of cheeses (these are snacks, in my book), bulk rice crackers, packaged rice crackers, Aussie-style soft strawberry licorice, and organic vegan gelatin-free gummi bears.

Gone Crackers are always great with hummus. They're basically crunchy spoons for deliciousness. They're nutty, too, made primarily with seeds and nuts. I think that makes them high in fiber but low in carbohydrates.

I'm addicted to dried cherries these days. I've almost finished the container that I bought on Friday, and I've been "going slow."

I haven't dug into the trail mix cookies from Kashi, yet, but I've had them before. I like eating them by dunking them in Seven Stars yogurt (also purchased at Whole Foods).

Finished off one of the cheeses already. I have a cheese problem.

The bulk rice crackers, while always somewhat stale, are very satifying. They don't have many calories. They're pleasantly spicy, in that it takes you a few handfuls to realize the spiciness, but when you do, it's good. These were gone yesterday.

I also bought WF's 365-brand Rice Crackers, shaped in circular wafers, seaweed variety. I've finished all of them, too.

I shared the licorice with my roommates. They all loved it. They, like me, feel that Twizzlers taste of chemicals. The soft licorice that I got was delicious and just tasted like it came from natural stuff. Gone on Friday.

Organic vegan gummi bears. I just bought them on a whim. I would normally never pay $2.25 for a 3.5oz box of candy, but I thought, "Organic gummi bears? How good could that be?" Not good at all, it turns out. The consistency was gross--apple pectin will do that for you. They were supposed to be sour, too--they weren't. The flavors were somewhat distictive, as in I could distinguish between them. I ate them all, mainly because I was craving sugar and didn't have any real food in the house.

I should really go shopping again. Not to Whole Foods, this time; the snacks are too tempting.

Clever, she thought, as she took the $10.75.

2008-10-25T11:45:00.003-04:00

I went to see Religulous last night (as you probably already know). I met Mr. Hatandcoat at the AMC Loews Georgetown 14.

I'll never go there again.

I was waiting in line, excited about my student discount. I got out my ID in anticipation of the couple of dollars off I would get. The girl behind me saw my ID and said, "Oh, I can get a discount here! Do I have my ID?"

I got up front, asked for a student ticket for Religulous, and brandished my student ID like a VIP card. The girl behind the counter said, "10.75 please."

I was taken aback. Did movie tickets soar to $13 in the past month? I said, "Um, could you give me a student discount, please?"

She said, "That's Thursdays."

I said, "What?"

She said, "Student discounts are only on Thursdays."

I said, "Only here."

Only Thursdays? Who ever heard of that? This is the theater closest to both George Washington and Georgetown. Unless the deals on Thursdays are insane (like $6 a ticket, $2 a box of popcorn, crazy sh*t like that). Then I would be kinda okay with it.

United, Under the Flag

2008-10-25T00:34:00.005-04:00

I'm sorry, Conservative brethren, for sounding like an a-hole about your beliefs. I'm not really an a-hole. It's just easier to write that way to get the point across. I think that you are wrong about a lot of issues, but I'm sorry if you think I've been an a-hole about it.

I saw Religulous tonight and it's put me in a thoughtful mood.

In one of the scenes, Bill Mahr says that he understands how a person who is in a hole, who has a lot of bad stuff in his life, who has nothing else, can turn to faith. He gets that. He doesn't understand almost anything else about faith, but he gets that. People who are oppressed turn to faith.

Faith is strengthening. One way it strengthens is in building community. I have seen this in Muslim prayer rituals (everyone kneels towards Mecca at the same time--everyone, in the same direction, at the same time--in the same time zone, at least). I have seen this in the Sabbath feast of Jewish people (families coming together, spending time with each other, every week, same time). I have seen this in the Catholic rites (communion, for instance, is something that all Catholics do, every Sunday, and non-Catholics are excluded).

In history class, we've been talking about the origins of Japanese society. Japan used to have an animistic religion, where people in the north prayed to their local deity, and people in the south prayed to their local deity, and every town along the way prayed to a different one. Not very unifying. One of the ways the Yamato clan unified the country was by promoting and promulgating Buddhism as a national religion. If everybody believed the same things, they wouldn't fight each other, and there could be a nation-wide government. The new faith unified the country and made the government strong.

Faith is strengthening in its unifying theme. Faith builds a community, unites it, ties it together. The members become brothers.

Then, is the current rightward-tilt, the evangelical tide in America, stemming from a lack of community?

Did the American individualist, who built this country on freedom and personal liberty, suddenly grow up and realize that being an individualist in a country of individualists gets to be lonely?

Did the "heartland" feel estranged from the coastal, liberal cities (see below pic)?

Is that why everybody is insisting on America being a "Christian" country?

And uniting "Under God"?

I'm sorry, Conservative Christians, that you ever felt unloved by the media, TV shows, books, radio, or even by this blogger. I love you guys as my American brothers and sisters. I don't need to share your fundamentalist ideas about the Bible, Creation, evolution, and drilling oil to feel that you and I are fundamentally the same. We're all human, but more than that, we're Americans, and we don't need any more reason to defend each other than that.

I feel that faith and religion are things that spring up when people need a stronger feeling of community. I think maybe we should start looking at what we share, rather than what we disagree on. That's why I am for Obama, whose speech at the DNC went directly to this matter:

America, our work will not be easy. The challenges we face require tough choices, and Democrats as well as Republicans will need to cast off the worn-out ideas and politics of the past. For part of what has been lost these past eight years can't just be measured by lost wages or bigger trade deficits. What has also been lost is our sense of common purpose - our sense of higher purpose. And that's what we have to restore.

We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country. The reality of gun ownership may be different for hunters in rural Ohio than for those plagued by gang-violence in Cleveland, but don't tell me we can't uphold the Second Amendment while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals. I know there are differences on same-sex marriage, but surely we can agree that our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters deserve to visit the person they love in the hospital and to live lives free of discrimination. Passions fly on immigration, but I don't know anyone who benefits when a mother is separated from her infant child or an employer undercuts American wages by hiring illegal workers. This too is part of America's promise - the promise of a democracy where we can find the strength and grace to bridge divides and unite in common effort.

My ideas above about religion are not completely researched, backed up, or thought through. Just some things I was thinking about tonight. I hope that one day we will all be equals and united in being a part of the human race. Til then, I'm content to say, I'm American, and that makes us united enough for me.

Dartboard Issue Choosing

2008-10-19T11:02:00.002-04:00

Many people seem to do the following, so I will join the club. I will find a political article, any article, and sound off on it. Commencing google search for "politics" now.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/10/19/obama.fundraising/index.html.

Obama raised 150 million in September!? I have no idea what McCain has, but it's probably comparable. I'm still a little shocked by that number. One month. It says that McCain raised 85 million of federal matching funds in the last 2 months of the campaign. I don't know what that means.

Some years ago didn't I hear the news repeat the phrase "campaign finance reform" over and over? If these campaigns can raise this much so damn easily, how is anything different? Did that chatter amount to a senate bill that campaigners simply figured out how to get around? It makes me wonder what talking points we hear at any given moment will fade over time. Why isn't global warming on the radio and tv every time I turn them on anymore?

Here's a big "duh:" if Obama holds the promise of such change, does he also promise to not listen to hundreds of millions of influence dollars that people have spent?

I think it would be fun to keep an exhaustive list of things promised by the politicians during campaign time and see what the winner follows through on. (Well, not fun to make the list, but to have it later). Then it'd be great to have it with other politicians over time and on my 95th birthday I could hand it over to my great grandson who'll have a budding interest at that point. He could analyze the promise keepers vs breakers. Perhaps he could note the cues in the campaigners' behavior that will divide them into either camp. Perhaps I could run some analysis of past campaigns and have this answer right now. Perhaps it exists on the webs now, I just need to refine the search for "politics."

That's it. I'm done talking about politics for about a week.

Nice Fakeout

2008-10-17T13:50:00.004-04:00

Joe the plumber is a fake. He's not a plumber, doesn't even have a plumber's license, he makes about $40,000 a year, he avoids paying taxes, and, even if he bought the plumbing company he does contract work for, it would only make him about $130,000 a year. See video:

The way he spoke to Obama in footage of their meeting together made me think Joe'd been coached, or that he'd been planted there by McCain, or that he was a Fox News zombie. Judge for yourself:

How he just threw out the $250,000 figure, how he kept harping on "hard work" and "the American dream"... I dunno, I thought he sounded fake. He also looked too comfortable in front of the camera. It's vomitous to think that McCain's campaign would use a plant, but, given that his campaign has already exceeded expectations for vomit-inducing horror, perhaps it's not that bad? As in Palin's debate, maybe my standards have been lowered?

There Are More Things in this World Than You Have Dreamt of...

2008-10-16T10:42:00.006-04:00

A friend of mine was holding a ladder for someone in a tree. That guy got a little careless (I assume), walked out on a branch, the branch broke, and that man is now paralyzed. I think he can still use his arms. He's fourty something with a wife and 2 kids.

The fall happened right in front of my friend. On the phone he told me that for at least a month after the accident all he could see was chuck (not real name) falling every time he closed his eyes. He sounded pretty nonchalant about it while telling me.

I write this as a reaction to Aak's experience. I blogged once before about being mugged/going through an extreme experience. What does that do to someone? I told Aak over gchat that this biking thing is exposing him to a whole range of human experience. (Roommate and I were talking last night about how he's becoming a pugnacious badass, a la "Fuck you!" Personally Aak is NOT like that. We became friends through playing chess and scrabble together.) But that concept of human experience is such a tepid abstract for me while reading about stuff here on a laptop. I'm reminded of the legions of young men in the early fourties who signed up excitedly to go out and fight a war in Europe. It seems romantic and educational, but I haven't been there.

People always ask me if I know Tyler Durden.

My First Near-VH Experience

2008-10-15T14:03:00.005-04:00

The stoplight turned green. I biked upright through the first intersection and sat down to go through the second. The second one is always dangerous; it slopes down fast in the middle of the merging other highway. It was fine; no cars were running the red light on my right.

This part of my commute is the most stressful. I'm only on University Boulevard for a minute, but I have to get over to the left lane to make a left onto the Northwest Branch of Sligo Creek Trail. I'm going fast downhill in the middle of the right lane, the cars around me are going fast, and I don't have a bike mirror so I have to turn my head to see what's in the left lane.

I was going downhill. A car passed me on my left. I shifted my head slightly left and catch a white SUV close behind me. I figured the driver was irritated and trying to pass me.

The white SUV came really close behind me. I heard his engine boost. He came up close on my left, straddling the left and right lanes, to say sarcastically "Plenty of space on the side of the-"

"FUCK YOU" I shouted at him. "GET the FUCK out of my way! I am SUPPOSED to BE HERE."

Driver, scowling, sped up and ceased being a threat. I signaled and went into the left lane. I looked ahead at the upcoming turn, noted the traffic coming--

White SUV was in front of me. Braking. Stopping.

I grabbed my brakes. I darted my eyes to the other lane; cars whizzing by. I thought, I'm going to hit him and fall off my bike into traffic and die.

I shouted "FUCK YOU. YOU'RE FUCKING TRYING TO KILL ME. FUCK YOU."

White SUV lurched forward. I screamed "YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT."

I signaled again and went into the turning lane, where the median had given way. But the white SUV had pulled over on the right shoulder. The driver, white, grizzled facial hair, red in the face, orangy-salmony polo shirt, tan cargo shorts perhaps, was standing out of his SUV, looking at me, and saying "Let's talk."

Talk? To my would-be killer? Talk? With his fists?

No, I shake my head once, and scream, "YOU TRIED TO KILL ME. I'M TURNING LEFT. YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT." I turned left, saying again "YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT."

I was shaking and crying and ready to throw up for the next mile.

...

I am a safe cyclist. I'm not a pussy, though. I ride in the road. I follow the laws, which say that cars and bikes use the road the same ways. The laws also say that bikes are encouraged (not mandated) to use the right side of the road only if (a) there's room/the road is wider than 9 feet/there's a good shoulder or bike lane, (b) there is no danger on the right, e.g., parked cars that may open doors into the cyclist's path, and (c) the cyclist is not planning on making a left turn.

The driver probably did not intend to place me in mortal danger. He perhaps did not expect that I would have difficulty stopping myself when he braked three feet ahead of me. Maybe he thought I could go around, and then we could "talk."

If you're going to talk to cyclists, don't do it on a hill, on a busy road, at 30 mph, or at close range. And don't be sarcastic about it. And don't brake in front of them, giving them a heart attack or death outright. And don't expect them to talk it over calmly after your attempted vehicular homicide (VH).

The Ugliest Side of America

2008-10-12T10:18:00.002-04:00

Americans have not had a great rep outside of our own country. It started with the image of fat, blundering tourists, waddling through countries and assuming everyone spoke English. It wasn't just the annoyance of having to deal with someone who refused to learn German when they were visiting Germany; it was the fact that Americans seemed to think they were speaking the one way everybody should speak. It was the audacity of getting upset when ranch dressing wasn't an option for your salad. It was how Communism won: the Commies understood how to talk to local people, understand them, and thus communicate with them.

The blustering image died away, but, in the wake of 9/11, a very similar image has arisen. We failed to reach the "hearts and minds" of Iraqis because we didn't understand their culture. But now it's no longer the Ugly Americans abroad who inspire distaste; tourists aren't coming to America any more. Our culture of fear, our paranoia, our crime, our treatment of foreigners all combine to ensure that our tourism industry has collapsed.

But who cares about what the foreigners think, right? We shouldn't care what all of the nations of the world think of us. Fine. But what about the ugliness that we, as fellow Americans, should not stand among ourselves?

This video has been going around and around the Internet. Please take a look:

I know that these people might be a vocal minority--might be--just as the liberals have a vocal minority who think trees are better than people, that 9/11 is some big conspiracy, and that Obama is the Messiah who will save our country and our souls.

But then I read all of these articles about McCain's rallies and what people are saying there.

Shouts of "traitor," "terrorist," "treason," "liar," and even "off with his head" have rung from the crowd at McCain and Sarah Palin rallies, and gone unchallenged by them.

...In two events this week, warm-up speakers at GOP rallies have used Obama's middle name, Hussein, to seed doubts about the Democrat, a tactic meant to draw attention to the false rumors that Obama is a Muslim, as well as to belittle him. "On Nov. 4, let's leave Barack Hussein Obama wondering what happened," a sheriff told Palin's Florida rally. (AP article)

In Minnesota on Friday, Mr McCain defended Mr Obama after some at the town hall meeting labelled him a "terrorist", "an Arab", a "traitor" and a candidate who inspired fear... At the Minnesota meeting, Mr McCain said Mr Obama was a decent family man and voters should not be afraid of him, but drew boos for defending him. (BBC article)

McCain, when he deals with these kinds of attacks, has been over the past few months prone to simply saying "That distracts from the issues." To my knowledge, McCain has never said to his crowds, "Barack Obama is not a terrorist." He's never said "Obama is not a Muslim." He denounces the bald attacks on Obama, but he is glad to use those radicals' words to get more votes. He doesn't want to say to his supporters, "you're wrong." He wants their votes, needs their votes, and so he will not take the moral high ground. He'll tread in the middle, going around the cries of "kill him" with a remark or two about the differences in their platforms.

Fleet Foxes Show, Black Cat, October 3

2008-10-06T14:19:00.002-04:00

Envy me. I want to bask in your jealousy.

I was able to get in to see Fleet Foxes this past Friday.

... Come on, ENVY ME!

I guess you don't know who the Fleet Foxes are. I gather that most of DC doesn't know who they are. And yet, they sold out the Black Cat so quickly that all the indie kids were writhing their hands in agony. Tickets for the show were going for $125 on Craigslist. That's a $110 markup! So those in the know were quite envious when I told them I was going.

Even if you didn't envy me just by hearing their name, you should still consider yourself unlucky that you missed an awesome show.

The opening act was weird. Just one guy, sitting on the stage, no change in the lights. It was hard to tell from the back that he had even come onto the stage. I had to get up very close to hear and comprehend what was going on. He was a strange bird, with his white dress shirt buttoned up to the top-collar button. He played the banjo, the guitar, the fiddle, the slide guitar. His blues/roots music seemed cut from the O Brother Where Art Thou reels. His more instrumental songs were more pleasant to listen to, not just because he played them perfectly in his vein but also because his voice was hard to take. His singing voice seemed like an affected Appalachian twang, dissonant and strained. I couldn't tell if it was real or not. His whole act seemed so surreal, I couldn't tell what was true and what was false. Even his expression was hard to understand: he was scowling, frowning, and generally looking like he was having the worst time of his life. It was a very strange scene. I felt like the guy would be really interesting in a random bar in the South, but here, he was out of place.

Fleet Foxes came on pretty soon after that. They started with an a capella version of one of their songs. The harmonies set the tone for the night: pleasant, moving melodies, sung from their gut to yours.

I had listened to their CD a few times before the concert, but I hadn't really been a fan. Yes, sorry envious indie kid (I know you're out there), I took the ticket away from the real fans. But after the concert I understood the music better. I felt like I knew what they had been trying to do. The CD sounds a little hollow, a little distant, the voice hard to pick out of the guitars. But now I get it: it's all about the rawness of their concerts live.

Raw isn't the right word, because it connotes "unformed." Their melodies are very formed and calculated. They played a new song during their set, and they apologized before it and after about it not really being finished yet. What I mean by raw is simply the force of it. Maybe it was because I was standing four feet from the speakers on stage right, but the music was powerful, performed live. It made more sense, live, than it had on the CD.

The band was friendly, but they weren't really sure what to say to a DC crowd. They kept reverting to talking about politics. They asked if anybody'd seen Carville around, or served Rumsfeld a beer and gotten a bad tip. Someone from the audience replied that they'd seen Dick Cheney in the Self-Help section of a bookstore. The band asked if Cheney had "radiated" evil like they'd imagine he would. (I guess neocons wouldn't be coming to a Fleet Foxes show.)

Another guy from the audience kept shouting out "Bicycle Tusk!" I didn't know that song, but the lead singer was taken aback. "Bicycle Tusk? Did we go to high school together?"

The show felt warm and inviting. I didn't know the words to any of the songs, but they were easy to pick up. I was soon trying to sing along with most of the lyrics. The welcoming demeanor and the warm harmonies felt like singalongs were encouraged. Maybe the people right in front of me didn't appreciate it, but I don't care. It's not like I was louder than those 8-foot speakers.

So envy me; I got to know Fleet Foxes firsthand.

Late Night Italian Lessons

2008-10-06T13:37:00.003-04:00

On Saturday night, I was at an impromptu bratwurst taste-test. Guess who showed up late? Mr. Hatandcoat! We ordered pizza after he arrived. After the pizza was eaten, people started to get "a little dizzy," and it was time to head home.

On my way out, Mr. Hatandcoat expressed his hope that I encounter something interesting on the Metro so I could blog about it. I said I hoped so, too. I unlocked my bike and rode to Rosslyn.

On the long elevator down to the platform at Rosslyn, I noticed for the first time that you can look out the side of the glass elevator and watch the people on the escalator. I looked through and watched a bunch of unsteady girls and a couple guys make their descent.

I got out of the elevator and walked my bike to the platform. I see a flash on the ceiling. I looked back and saw one of the unsteady girls with her camera out.

I was wearing my uber-dorky reflective vest (of the kind that construction workers and Metro employees wear) and an old hoodie. I did not look like the quintessence of style. So I was pretty self-conscious about my picture being taken. I was, until I realized that the girls were not speaking English and were taking pictures of everything. They took about 10 pictures in the five minutes we were waiting for the train.

When we got on the train, I stood with my bike in the door area (nowhere else to go) and the girls took the seats opposite me. Did I mention they were good-looking? I was guessing they were Italian. I've always liked Italian girls.

Then one of them asked me "Can I take a picture with?" I said sure. She posed with me and my bike. Then another one, the tallest and most leg-showing, got up and posed against me as well. I took the opportunity to ask where they were from, and, sure enough, they all said "Italy." The one with the legs asked me "Are you studying?" I said, "Yes. Japanese." They weren't really interested in that.

We ended up transferring at Metro Center together, too. The girls and their two guys had grouped together along the wall, and I stood waiting at the edge of the platform. I kept thinking, hm, how do I make conversation? I finally settled on showing interest in their language.

I went over to Legs and asked "Can you teach me some Italian?"

She said, "Yes. ...maybe."

I said, "What's 'hello'? I know goodbye is 'ciao'..."

"Hello is 'ciao.' It's also means goodbye. You say it at the beginning, and at the end."

"Ciao."

"Ciao."

I started to say something else, but then the train was coming, so I said, "Oh, the train is coming. What's 'train' in Italian?"

Legs looked confused and said, "I don't know, what's 'traing'?"

I pointed at the train coming. Legs said "Oh, train" and went over to gather her unsteady flock. We boarded the train together but didn't have much else to say. When they got out at New York Avenue, Legs smiled sweetly at me and said "Byeee."

I said, "Ciao."

She said "Ciao," and so did the rest of them.

Revelations about Palin

2008-10-02T07:52:00.003-04:00

When I wrote this post on Sarah Palin, there was a lot of snap negativity towards her. I thought it was unfounded.

Whoops. She is a crazy person and a terrible choice for a vice president.

You've all seen her interview with Katie Couric, right? Where she sputters about topics she's not familiar with (foreign policy, economics)? I'm not even going to link to it, just Google "palin and couric."

As to the crazy part, well, she's crazy about God. Sorry, fundamentalist readers, but I don't want a fundamentalist evangelical Christian as VP. I really don't. I'll get into why a little later, in case it's not obvious.

Salon.com has an article which first alerted me to Palin's God problem. Here are some quotes:

Another valley activist, Philip Munger, says that Palin also helped push the evangelical drive to take over the Mat-Su Borough school board. "She wanted to get people who believed in creationism on the board," said Munger, a music composer and teacher. "I bumped into her once after my band played at a graduation ceremony at the Assembly of God. I said, 'Sarah, how can you believe in creationism -- your father's a science teacher.' And she said, 'We don't have to agree on everything.'
"I pushed her on the earth's creation, whether it was really less than 7,000 years old and whether dinosaurs and humans walked the earth at the same time. And she said yes, she'd seen images somewhere of dinosaur fossils with human footprints in them."
Munger also asked Palin if she truly believed in the End of Days, the doomsday scenario when the Messiah will return. "She looked in my eyes and said, 'Yes, I think I will see Jesus come back to earth in my lifetime.'"

I've researched the creationist view before, and I've seen those pictures of "footprints." See here for a refutation: http://www.badarchaeology.net/data/ooparts/paluxy.php

Now look, if you think that Palin's free to believe whatever she wants, she is. But she has a habit of mixing politics and religion. And this is what is really scary: the people who say they believe they will see Jesus in this lifetime are actively working to make that happen. These are the people who like the conflict in the Middle East, because it means that Jerusalem is in turmoil, which of course means Jesus will come back. Would Palin start us towards apocalypse, just so she can go up in Rapture? I would say yes. Wouldn't you, if you believed you could jumpstart the salvation of mankind, try your hardest to do so?

For examples of how Palin mixes God with policies, here's a quote from the Huffington Post:

Alaska's governor asked the audience to pray for another matter -- a $30 billion national gas pipeline project that she wanted built in the state. "I think God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that," she said.

You remember how Palin thought that the Iraq war was a task from God (also quoted in the article). Apparently God's got a plan for everything. This is what these kinds of people believe. God has a plan for America. We've got to implement our faith in making laws. We've got to save the country's souls.

But wait, there's more. Palin's church invited and honored a certified witchhunter!

This is interesting. When I heard about her spiritual adviser holding witchhunts, I thought, that's impossible. No one in this country could stand for that, right?

I was half-right. Pastor Muthee is based in Africa, and that's where he found his witch and cast her out of town. But Palin's church invited him to speak about it! And Palin let him pray over her! And Palin considers him a great spiritual person in her life!

Some background info for you: African natives believe in witches. It's not a Christian idea. It comes from indigenous religious attitudes. They believe that anybody with negative emotions can be a witch. Witches are often unaware of their power. It's like, if I'm jealous of my brother, and then he trips over a root, I'm responsible for that, because the witch in me lashed out at him. (I've studied one such case in my Anthropology class.)

I had not heard of this concept being incorporated into evangelical churches in Africa. That's interesting. And scary. Like Sarah Palin.

America, be afraid. Because Palin is going to try to bring a little Revelation into the government.

Think I'm paranoid? I challenge you to ask Sarah Palin this question: "If you could do anything to bring Jesus back for the second coming, would you?" She will be unable to say no.

Alpha Dope

2008-09-25T00:54:00.005-04:00

Here's a revelation: Bush is a horrible speaker. But I'm starting to wonder if it's on purpose. Check out this video:

I don't buy the presenile dementia.

I also remember him speaking just fine when they showed him chatting in a clip from the early 90's in michael moore's film. Is it his swagger? Is it a game where he proves to himself and his inner circle that he can talk like that in public and STILL be THE most powerful human? Is it a persona that he's put on like Stephen Colbert has? Does it serve some political purpose to be that way? I know when I talk to someone that stupid I lose interest and stop asking questions. Is that his way of deflecting media scrutiny?

I wonder this because I was watching Colbert last night and they showed a clip of him saying something incredibly stupid. I don't remember what it was, but it was indeed hilarious. But you'd think by now, nearing the end of his second term, if it were a priority he'd develop some clue about how to speak well in public. But no. I mean, we've had YEARS now of absolute gems. And they haven't trailed off as far as I can tell. Every time he breathes in public, he provides late night fodder. Obviously the Harvard MBA is not as dumb as he comes off. I'm thinking it might be deliberate.

Standout Indian Food?

2008-09-23T08:54:00.003-04:00

Most Districted people who like Indian food don't really have a favorite Indian restaurant. They typically say, "Well, it's always pretty good, because I like Indian food."

Come on. I want to know where the best Indian food is. The standout Indian place.

Heritage India is good, but they're only slightly better than Delhi Dhaba. Mostly they're pretending to be upscale Indian. What's that? Indian food ingredients are the cheapest ever, right?

Taj Mahal, right next to Heritage India on Connecticut (south of Dupont Circle) is a good place to go when you're hungry; at lunch they have an all-you-can-eat buffet. But I know it's not awesome. Some dishes taste worse than storebought varieties.

I went to Ghar-E-Kabab this weekend in Silver Spring. It's Nepali-run but serves mostly just Indian food. (I was disappointed; I loved my Nepalese curry place in Toyama, Japan. Shout out to Chatori-Katori!)

Ghar-E-Kabab was tasty. The spinach curry warms the mouth with a nice, subtle spice. The chicken curry was simple and good. The nan was just okay. The waiters, kinda pushy. The overall meal was not standout.

I know where to go for kabob food. Ravi Kabob. It also has Indian food. It's in a strip mall in Virginia somewhere. It's too far for me to go just when I'm craving curry, but it is "standout." I want a Metroable standout Indian place in MD or the District. Too much to ask?

I Ain't 'Fraid o' Nuthin'

2008-09-19T15:08:00.005-04:00

Play by play of the 13 question quiz:

1) Both. Proceeding to just pick one.

2)Don't know the answer - "When you raise taxes in a bad economy you eliminate jobs." Don't know if that's true. Is it always true? is it true in our situation? Is there someone who can answer this for me and show me the reasoning? Feel like both options are a starting place for further readind, not a dividing line.

3) Iraq issue, general stance: we NEVER should have gone there as far as I can tell, but since we are, it might be our responsibility to not leave until they are stable. I forget the terminology, but I lean toward progress based withdrawal vs timetables. I feel like this is a talking point from a year ago, though. The statements here don't seem to make assertions, just statements about attitudes. I'd like to know what the proposals are. Does Obama want a precipitous withdrawal? I chose the Obama statement, but I wouldn't want a sudden withdrawal.

4) Iraq: Man, I wish I could sit and pick the brains of people who are in the know.

5) Healthcare: my attitude predisposition led me to click Obama's, but is it the most practical? I don't f***ing know.

6) How to pay for Healthcare: I don't know. Neither statement makes sense, but the McCain seems to make less. This goes back to taxing the rich just because they have the scratch. Lame. I still chose the Obama one, though.

7) Immigration: Chose the Obama one, but only because I had a convo with roommate and her boyfriend about this issue recently. They won me over. If I had a conservative roommate, I'd probably have a different view.

8) Earned Citizenship: I think I chose the Obama one, but I am NOT qualified to weigh in here. It does seem impractical to me to deport 12 million people. I don't know what illegal immigration does to our country. I can tell you that the restaurant industry would cease to put food on the table and wash dishes so abundantly.

9) Abortion: Obama. I don't see any gray area on this one.

10) Gay Marraige: Both are anti based on these quotes. That's stupid. Why not? Oh, right, we're a religious whackball country and letting a man and a man f*** under a holy or pseudo holy union would alienate too many.

11) Global Warming: I don't know about this one. I do think that this is probably a political issue more than a scientific one, but we obviously need a hard reduction on carbon emissions. Which approach is more practical: Hard cap or whatever else the other one asserts? The hard cap says 80% below 1990 levels vs the other's 60%. Let's see, which is the greater number... Duh. Of course I want the greater reduction. Is it practical? Who the f*** knows? I'm going to click with the optimism that it is.

12) Judges and the court: ??? Well, both sound great. I guess. I don't understand. I'm going to close my eyes and click. Almighty prejudice tells me that I don't want hard-line conservatives in those jobs. Stance subject to massive change.

13) Commander in Chief: Both statements are vague. Close eyes and click.

DONE!

I'm an Obama-ite. I must admit that I enjoyed this quiz very much.

And in response to my assignment: the speaker of the quote was pretty obvious most of the time.

Challenge for My Co-Blogger

2008-09-19T13:13:00.002-04:00

I took this quiz at ABC News that is supposed to help you pick the candidate that you most relate to. It shows you quotes from the two presidential candidates (the two that matter, that is) and you pick the quote that you like the best.

Since I have a decent working knowledge of the candidates' policies, I was able to figure out who had said what before the quiz revealed it in the answers. Still, there were some that I was stumped by.

My Challenge: Hatandcoat, take ye this quiz, and report back. You don't have to tell us which candidate ABC News picked for you. Your challenge is to see if you can predict who said what. This will give us all insight into how aware you have become.

I Am Not Spartacus

2008-09-14T13:40:00.006-04:00

I don't wholeheartedly identify with liberal thinking like my Mom and my Co-Blogger. I might, I just don't think so at this point.

Here's one issue that my instincts say bulls*** to: the death tax. I'm also not generally a fan of requiring the wealthy to pay much more in taxes just because they can. Those are more conservative viewpoints. If I made a senseless amount of money I would voluntarily give that money but I don't see what right I would have to require the same of the guy down the hall in my luxury high rise.

I remember finding a website once that layed out all the basic political philosophies in a paragraph each. I think libertarian was my most fitting one. Basically they say "do whatever you want" both socially and fiscally. So, socially liberal and financially conservative. Sounds great, but I have genuinely disliked libertarians I have met.

I am chewing gum right now. I remember seeing a special about how Japanese swordsmiths work. They fold the metal over and over so it gets harder and harder. I want to try that with this gum. I'm using my tongue and teeth to make it happen.

Duh, it won't happen, now that I think about it. I'll have to resort to my favorite gum chewing activity. I make it a long string, paste it along my front teeth, flatten it out with my tongue, and blow so that it pops in about 8 different places. Kinda satisfying. I also like the satisfaction of eating baby carrots so that the crunch is extremely loud. I make my mouth a cavern so that it echoes. I probably doesn't make any difference, but it feels like it does.

If I were a superhero I would be "Lord of Chaos." I used to have a fantasy about being able to control random events in the environment so that they'd follow my will. So, if some foe across the room were bothering me I'd be able to drop a marble 1/2 foot in front of me. That marble would cause a stir of dust, which would make a tiny flock of dust mites to run to my right, they would run onto a bristle in the carpet which would bend and on and on until gust of wind picks up a used fork and hurls it a my foe's forehead. People would totally underestimate the Lord of Chaos to their demise.

Who's Ugging Whom?

2008-09-12T21:43:00.004-04:00

Rode the Metro today, no bike. I don't bike when it's wet out.

At my stop, a couple that had been chatting the whole way on the train stepped out onto the platform just ahead of me. They were still talking. They took the down escalator, but then they faced "The Conversation-Escalation" problem.

When two people who are conversationally inclined get onto the DC Metro's escalators, they only have two polite options: standing on the right on different steps, or walking down together on the left. If it's not rush hour, no one's going to kill you if you want to talk to your friend on the same level, blocking the left (or passing) lane... as long as you move over when we tell you to. But during busy times that's not an option, and your conversation must suffer a brief respite.

This couple obviously had not planned well. They took the escalator two abreast, but the girl got stuck on the right while the guy went down on the left. I noticed the girl's annoyance, so I let her ahead of me in the passing lane with a "Go ahead."

She said, "Thanks a lot. Ugh." She went in front of me and followed her guy. I kind of forgot about it. Then she said, "I wasn't ugging you."

I realized she was talking to me. I said, "Huh? What did you say?"

She said "I wasn't ugging you. I was ugging him, for going ahead. You know, it could have been interpreted..."

"Oh," I said, "Don't worry about it." I hadn't thought she was ugging me. I thought she was ugging the situation, the Metro, the escalator rules, her guy, anything other than me. After all, I was the one who let her in. In this town, that's something to be really thankful for.

But now I know a new word. Ugging. To ug. I'm thinking a lot about words these days. See my post on Hatandcoat, which I put up just after this one, for more wordmania.

Time to Opine

2008-09-12T14:47:00.007-04:00

Ok, two paragraphs in and I already have a reaction: Creationism.

I have long thought that I don't have any political opinions. It seemed that political opinions, for those interested, come from the same place that makes people say "I like/dislike [such and such a movie/dessert/book]." Unfortunately they do and people, it seems, act on such opinions without facts and think-through. A given issue seems answered by their unconscious brain as soon as a given topic is discussed. That's exactly what I want to avoid. Of course, the opposite end of the spectrum is me who eschews the whole damn thing because I don't feel for anything.

But on the issue of creationism I think I'm a knee-jerk liberal on this one. When I think about the issue, albeit infrequently, I think "Ok, you creationists are wrong. It's clear. Can we please stop talking about it? Please? I don't want to hear about it again." The best word to describe my feeling is bored. But I'm realizing that since I have such an opinion and others out there have the exact opposite opinion, that's what makes it a political issue. Thus I have a political opinion. I don't know how to go about suggesting how my stance should be implemented nationwide and I don't know how to go about properly insulting those who disagree with it, which seems the real point of politics. I realize that there are MASSIVE aspects of this issue eluding me as I write this post, but I also do realize that I have a starting point - my own opinion - to go about doing research if I'm so inclined.

I also realize that I don't fully understand what "creationism" means as I write this. That is an important point for me. I'm taking a stance on a political issue with incomplete knowledge. Before I would engage a creationist on any sort of debate I will have to do a lot of reading, but to think privately on this issue I am very comfortable with my stance where it lies.

Yes, I did need to spell all this out, if only for my own understanding.

I must regret that I have told my family about this blog. I was going to make an off color joke earlier that would have made me laugh while writing it, but I had to censor myself. Drat! My Dad just sent me an e-mail the other day telling me that he gets updates about my life from these blogs. That's cool, but I miss smut talk sometimes.

Hi, Dad.

Got the Go-Ahead: Political Post

2008-09-12T11:10:00.008-04:00

(Update: Please ignore the positive spin I tried to put on Palin. She is horrible. See my latest post on her: http://districted.blogspot.com/2008/10/revelations-about-palin.html)

I kind of love FactCheck.org. I was thinking about writing a post about Palin and all the slightly incorrect statements out there, and they went ahead and did a video on it:

I'm guilty of Palin-paranoia as well. One of the first things I heard about her was that she supported teaching Creationism in schools. She actually only said she didn't think it should be forbidden from debate if students want to discuss it.

The next thing I heard about her was the book-banning thing. What actually happened was that Palin asked a librarian if she would agree to ban books from the library if the administration asked her to. The librarian said she would not agree to ban anything. Then Palin tried to get the librarian fired, but enough people supported the librarian that she was able to keep her job. Was there a correlation? Maybe.

Recently Palin said that the Iraq war was "a task that is a task from God," but she went back on herself: check it out here in her interview.

So Palin is not the demon we fear. But my problem with Palin is this: she's still scary. She is willing to discuss banning books, if that's what her constituents want. She has appeared to change tactics and beliefs from election to election, if that's what will make her win. When she has power, she doesn't appear able to wield it impartially (see librarian-firing above and "troopergate"). She's wishy-washy on gay couples' rights: no they can't be married, yes they should be treated equally (see here). Honestly, Democrats don't know what to make of her. The only thing they can stick to her is her pro-life-ness and her NRA-love.

I see an ideologue without an ideology of her own. She appears to stand for something, but I don't know what it is. I just know that she isn't standing for my beliefs (freedom of speech, not banning books; greater separation of church and state; not drilling for oil when we need green energy; politicians working for the American people and not on tasks "from God").

I see the same kind of thing in McCain. I don't believe that his stance on "moral values" is real. But I do know that he is not going to be a good President, for the very reason that his "values" aren't his own.

Liberals are scared of Bush, McCain, and Palin because liberals value freedom of and from religion, not just freedom to be Christian. Liberals think that elected officials should be accountable, not free to fire contrary librarians and public safety officials. Liberals value intelligent and independent decisionmakers, not "deciders" who need to consult with Karl Rove every time they make a move. And liberals like books so much that the mere mention of "banning" horrifies them into a fugue state. They won't care if it was a rhetorical question, Sarah; it was the wrong rhetorical question for a leader and possible VP to ask.

I ain't sayin' Obama/Biden's the Second Coming, but they don't scare me nearly as much as McCain/Palin.

Learn to Drive, Jackass

2008-09-10T14:40:00.003-04:00

Here's why I don't like road rage: if you're in the car with the ragist it kills the mood. If I'm in the passenger seat and the driver is reacting every 8 seconds to minor infractions outside our cab, I don't know what to say or do with myself. I'm at a loss for words. I try to respond with a "yeah" or "that guy is seriously dumb" to show some solidarity, but it feels awkward and forced. When I think about it I suppose that that other guy shouldn't be cutting over two lanes while leaving oil slicks behind and throwing pennies at other cars, but to be honest I don't care in the least. I'm generally wanting to ride and chat but a conversation interruption makes me have to pause against my will. Bull.

When my driver is mad I generally find something within the next 5 or so minutes that he/she should not have done. Not because ragists are bad drivers. It's just impossible not to f*** up while driving in some minor way all the time. And a little less often, bigger mistakes are inevitable too. Hell, I'm sure Aak's been rear ended on his bike a few times by some perfectly conscientious vehicle operators. But if I point such things out right after a flip out, I'm jeopardizing later ride offers. My roommate tells a story once about how her ultra-logical android friend made such a comment to her after a rage. This friend is no longer alive.

I suppose post-rage awkwardness goes for raging in general, not just while driving. I've been the awkward observer before, but I've been the flip-out artist as well. If I'm watching, say, super bowl XXXIX and Donovan McNabb is moseying up to the line taking his sweet-ass time while the clock is ticking, I'm going to explode. I don't care if he's sick and vomiting on the field. When I do flip out and see awkward silence in anyone around me I feel terrible. I want to crack a joke and break the tension, but it's too late. It's a very unfortunate feeling. Fortunately all my experiences with such things have been minor because I do not have an especially rough temper.

Really, the friend is fine, btw. She's out in California getting her PhD in Physics. Don't even get me started on California drivers.

A Couple More Things That Need To Go: What I Hate about You

2008-09-10T13:29:00.004-04:00

Revisiting and continuing the list from last month:

1. Ironic strike-out text in blogs.

2. "I just threw up a little in my mouth."

3. Putting your Facebook status to "is" or "just is." That is seriously lame. In the past 72 hours, six different people on my friends list have put their status as "is." And I don't have that many friends. (I guess I'll have fewer if they find out I'm calling them lame. Oh well. At least my Facebook homepage will be infinitesimally less lame overall, then.) Be more descriptive, or don't update.

4. Commercials that resort to using the song "What I Like about You" by The Romantics. A non-exhaustive list on Wikipedia includes 8 products that this song has been used to hock. It's used in movies nonstop. A few years after the song's release, The Romantics actually filed a lawsuit against their managers because the song was licensed for commercial use without their consent. THAT WAS IN NINETEEN EIGHTY-SEVEN. I heard the poppy little ditty in the background of a Papa Johns' commercial last week. Advertising companies, there is more music in the world. Resorting to "What I Like about You" is a give-up move.

Review of Jerry Springer: The Opera

2008-09-08T00:16:00.002-04:00

Read "Jerry Springer" and "the Opera" together and you think "low-brow" meets "high-brow." That could be interesting, right?

No. It's low-brow all the way to hell.

If you're like me and have already gotten a handle on the "voyeurisma" and patheticness that talk shows like Jerry Springer's perpetuate, then "Jerry Springer: the Opera"* will not make you think at all. Well, maybe you'll think "oh, I guess this is entertaining... sometimes..."

I don't care that it made fun of Christian stuff, that it portrayed Jesus as kind of a jerk, etc. I watch South Park. Making fun of Christianity can be really funny, especially when the jokes are incredibly wrong. Too bad "Jerry Springer: the Opera" wasn't written by Matt Stone and Trey Parker. They would have made it great. (Hint to Stone & Parker: rewrite it as a movie! I'd watch that.)

I don't care that the profanity is unrelenting. It was so filled with curses that they became boring. It was funny when the chorus said "a Chick with a Dick." It got less funny when they repeated it over and over again with the same intonation.

That was "opera"? Trite white-trash cliches repeated in various registers in an "operatic" style? I'm not an operagoer, but I've listened to a few. I didn't know what the singers were saying, but it sounded like something interesting at least. Again, I'm not an expert, but I also don't think you can call this play an "opera" without actual opera singers and a bit more grandiosity in the music.

I think "Jerry Springer: the Musical" would have been a better thing to write. Then the writers would have been under some more obligation to write lyrics that were interesting. Or that told a story.

My Final Negative Thought: There was a point at which I turned to my date and said, "Did we accidentally sneak into The Producers?" There is a recurring number that sounds just too much like "Springtime for Hitler." There's even a similar dance number.

But there were good things: several of the actors were good. Jerry was fantastic and delivered lines like a champ. The Devil was perfect and deserved a better show. All of the ensemble played their parts well. Diaper Man was hilarious. Diaper Man's lover sang a nice song, the only nicely written one in the play. The energy of the cast punctuated the boring profanity and made me smile in spite of myself.

But apparently other audiences found this catastrophe great. It's been selling out all over. They extended the run here in DC (until today, so this review's a bit pointless). The popularity of this unthoughtful, boring, low-shock-value "opera" reminds me of the movie within the movie Idiocracy. You know, where the most popular movie of the future is called "Ass" and is just a 90-minute-long shot of an ass. When it farts, everybody dies laughing.

*I guess the Studio Theatre has a resident geek; this production has an extensive writeup in the Wikipedia link.

Perceived Impoliteness

2008-09-04T17:27:00.006-04:00

Today I had to get from College Park to Dupont Circle in 45 minutes or less. I got my bike gear (helmet, bag, padded shorts), biked to the College Park on the Green Line, and took the Green to U Street.

In the Metro, I've been barked at for walking my bike up the stationary stairs, so I usually stick to the elevators, even when I'm in a rush. I also use the handicapped gate to enter and exit the stations with my bike. It's the only way I can enter or exit. The other gates are just wide enough for my bike, but the good people of Metro really don't like it when bikers use those.

So I went over to the only handicapped gate on the 13th Street side. There was a tall, skinny white guy who was slowly walking toward the gates on the other side (coming into the station). I was going faster. The guy lingered in front of the handicapped gate on the other side, making no move to use it, but looking at me. I put my Smartrip card on the panel and opened the gate.

The guy then looked pissed off and says "Oh, sure."

I ignored him and continued through the gate. He stayed where he was, right at the exit of my gate. I squeezed past him, my elbow lightly touching his arm. He said, "Uh, excuse me?!" I ignored him and went on my way.

I'm relatively sure that he will tell his friends that he met the rudest biker ever today, who took his gate, didn't apologize for it, and nearly knocked him down. According to this guy, I was impolite.

Was I?

I'm guessing that he was a transplant from a more verbal city. In DC, our mottoes are "Don't Talk to Me" and "Get Out of the Way." Those aren't my mottoes, though. I just don't talk to the crazies. A man who wants to use the handicapped gate when all of the other gates are free, and who then doesn't make a move to use it but just stands in the way of someone who needs it, is a crazy.

He Used to be a Caveman. But Now He's a Lawyer.

2008-09-03T12:06:00.007-04:00

So, for some reason I have found myself referencing early 90s Saturday Night Live sketches
in conversation a lot. So much so that girlfriend has come to wonder what I spent my whole childhood doing other than watching comedy. Part of that is because in the same way that when you learn something new you see it referenced a lot all of a sudden, I've found it also true that once you bring up a topic it can come up again and again in your own mind for a little while. But it's also true that I did watch a good deal of SNL when I was younger. And I'm happy I did.

The early 90s...that was the original cast for me. My parents used to wonder how I could be entertained my that crowd while all the good originals were gone. Fair enough. I just look back so fondly on Chris Farley, Mike Myers, David Spade, Phil Hartmann, Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider, Victoria Jackson, Julia Sweeney, Chris Rock (briefly), Kevin Nealon, Ellen Cleghorne, Dana Carvey, and Tim Meadows.

Sketches off the top of my head: Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, the Denise Show, the Tim Meadows Cyrano Debergerac skit with Alec Baldwin, the Chippendales sketch, Chris Farley Show (it had its moments), Middle Aged Man, Wayne's World, Deep Thoughts, Mr. No Depth Perception, Frank Sinatra Meets Sinead O'Conner, Opera Man, Nat X, The Hollywood Minute, The Chris Farley Weekend Correspondent who said everything in quotes, Van Down by the River, Mike Myers' Hyperactive Kid, Simon, Joe Montana as the really honest guy, Hot Button, and so much more.

I knew someone who claimed that the rule of thumb was that if the title of the sketch described the whole joke of the sketch, that meant it sucked. Generally true. But sometimes that's what made it funny. Like Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. You knew what was going to happen every time, but Phil Hartman carried it off so well.

Some of those sketches are only funny in retelling. They're kind of boring to actually watch.

I have heard that SNL is good again. I'm skep. I haven't watched it in ages, though. I flicked it on the other night but lost interest and did something else while it was in the background. It seemed boring. I do want to see Michael Phelps when he hosts, though.

On Dogs and Whispering

2008-08-30T19:41:00.003-04:00

My Scrabble-date with an OkCupid* girl was called off on account of a summer cold, so the only girls I'm hanging out with today are the ones I'm dogsitting. I won't go into detail about them, except to say that they're sweet and cute and I love them. One is a people-dog, very interested in humans, and the other is a dog-dog, preferring the canine kind to the point of being terrified of people. She's accepted me as pack leader, so we're good.

Due to these wonderful lady dogs, I have been more successful in dating. Not only do they give me something to talk about in random emails to potential dates, they have also gotten me a number.

I was on one of our evening walks in Capitol Hill when we ran into a blonde with her little chihuahua mix. The dogs became friends, and so we walked to the park together. When I had to leave (my girls were feeling anxious for home), the blonde said "See you again," and I said "Yeah." The next evening, I waited until about the same time I'd seen the blonde walking her dogs, and sure enough, we met up. But on the walk to the park, I realized I had neglected to bring paper and pen, or even my cellphone. As I was leaving, I said, "See you tomorrow maybe? Around 7?" She said "Yeah, probably." So the next day we met up (right at 7) and walked the dogs together again. Again, my girls were not feeling very social, so I left kind of early, but I got the blonde's number before I left. That was Friday.

Friday night, I got sucked into watching Cesar Millan the Dog Whisperer's show. (See picture above.) Even though he says the same kind of things to almost everybody (be relaxed, be assertive, be the pack leader), it's good TV. I really liked watching the moments when the owners realize they are the problem, not their dogs.

As a child, my parents thought I was going to grow up to be a vet. They always said that I had a good connection with animals. This may be true, but I'm not as familiar with them as Mr. Millan. I often have a tough time figuring out who exactly is lead dog. And I often don't know what an aggressive dog is feeling, or why it's feeling that way. Millan's ability to do so is pretty impressive.

I took a break from dogs for a few years, but I started to get back into them when a couple of friends of mine were intensely focused on training their dog. I learned about dominance, about ignoring when behavior is bad, and about good ways to reward good behavior. Then my father got a puppy, and I had one to practice on! I read up on the things to do, and I pretty much raised that little mini-schnauzer like my own. I apparently paid too much attention to him, though. He became codependent and would cry whenever left alone in his crate. When left alone out of his crate, he ate a rare book, many pillows, a remote control... Additionally, he didn't interact very well with my stepmother's dogs (wild things that were never trained at all). My dad eventually had to give him away, which was really sad.

I'd like to be a dog trainer in Japan, simply because Japanese families have the worst relationships with their dogs I've ever seen. They barely train the dogs. They keep them outside on a chain in a fenced-in area all day and night. The feeling is that "Dogs are wild animals, not humans, and so it's better to leave them be." This is better, in theory, than treating dogs as human beings, but the implementation is awful. Unfortunately, there's no market for a dog trainer over there. Nobody knows that they could have dogs be so much better and happier just by accepting them into their family's "pack" and giving them a bit more attention and purpose.

Over here, it's time to let the dogs out. They're downstairs, hovering around the door. Who leads whom? Hmmm...

*A free site where I've had 300% more success than at Match**.

**My colleague informs me that this figure is not clear. I still think there's some underlying logic to it, but, for his sake, I will do real math: I've emailed 18 girls on Match.com, and they've either not emailed me back or it's gone nowhere. On OkCupid, I've emailed 9 people and 3 of them are getting somewhere. So it's surely safe and accurate to say that I've had a 33.3% rate of success on OkCupid, which is more than I've had at Match.com.

I had a good title for this post but I forgot it.

2008-08-29T15:49:00.003-04:00

Some time ago I picked a book up called The Memory Book by Harry Lorayne. I have no idea if it's revolutionary or regurgitated stuff from previous memory experts but I'm a big fan.

At first I challenged people around me to give me a list of random items that I would memorize quickly and have it last. It was a new toy. Now I can actually see how such tricks can help in a practical situation. I took a job waiting tables to pay the rent while going back to school. I had to memorize the items on the menu and the ingredients and drinks and everything quickly. These techniques worked like a charm. They take a little bit of effort initially to get the memorization down, but once you're in the habit it's well worth it. I don't have an especially good natural memory, so I needed something like this.

It involves visualization techniques. If you have a list of items to memorize you picture something ridiculous about it, then it somehow interacts in a ridiculous way with the next item on the list, then the next and so on. The key word there is ridiculous. Otherwise the items won't stay in your head. For instance, here are some sandwiches on our menu: Portobello mushroom sandwich, Turkey Burger, Mushroom Swiss Burger, HickoryBurger. I picture the portobello lying on the floor like a carpet, then a turkey walking over it toward a large mushroom which it starts pecking at. The mushroom has the swiss flag on it, and a piece of hickory wood sticking out the top. A hick picks up the wood, kind of like cletus the slack-jawed yokel, and then more items and more. Once I have the sequence of things down I then have to drill it a couple times, go away, and come back later and drill it again. If there's a fuzzy image at one step, I need to change it a little to make it more clear. It's a very creative process. Once I have the sequence in my head, I can fill it in with details. Like, the turkey patty is ground with carrots and celery and onions, so I picture my turkey with a large serving bowl strapped to its back with those items sticking out.

I'm amazed at how quickly I memorized everything, kept it straight in my head, and how well it stuck. It was way, way more effective and fun than any rote memorization I've ever done. The fun part is what makes me want keep doing it which is most important. There are other techniques for numbers and formulas which I plan to use for my forthcoming math studies. I'm pretty psyched that I learned about this stuff.

Now, if I can only find a way to cure absent-mindedness.

Mix-n-Match

2008-08-29T01:56:00.003-04:00

I am on Match.com. And that, dear Reader, is why there have been fewer updates in the blog arenas.

I find that I am exercising the same muscles emailing random pretty girls that I use when blogging. This is because some profiles leave you with so little to work with, you have to be creative. Or at least that's the approach I've taken. Here are some examples of first emails I've sent:

Title: What is the what

I haven't read it; I just like the title. I haven't even read Eggers's Heartbreaking Work yet, but I plan to.

I've also never been to Paris, but I would love to, someday. Hopefully when the dollar is stronger, or when flying isn't so much of a hassle (here's hoping). Would you say that San Francisco is the Paris of the West Coast? I imagine some similarities.

Have you been to Great Falls yet?

Take care,
(real name)

Result: Nothing.

Title: Hi

Oh fellow photographer, where's your favorite place around here to take pictures?

(I don't have a favorite place, myself. Not around DC, at least. I loved taking pictures in Alaska.)

Another question: you list chocolate and cheese as two of your favorite things. If you had to give up one for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

I hope this beautiful weekend is treating you well.

Result: Nothing

Title: Hi

Love the red jacket in your profile picture. Where'd you get it?

Result: Nothing

Title: Dropping the Gauntlet (Hatandcoat helped on this one)

So, you like clever chefs, huh? I met Mr. Brown once. He licked my friend's salt container and sensed she'd made pork chops the night before. Weird guy.

Outdoors are good. I bike every day. I have biked to Baltimore. I'm probably better than you at biking. Do you want to race?

I'm a terrible swimmer, though. Our battleground shall be above sea level. How many triathlons have you done?

My last name is Slovak, too. Hope we're not related.

-AAK

Result: No direct response, but she changed her profile to say "I train 20 hours per week, so I'm probably faster than you. I hope you're comfortable with that ;)".

Title: I'm Gumby, Dammit (Hatandcoat also contributed here)

I'm guessing you liked A Clockwork Orange for all of the linguistic touches Burgess put in. His mixture of English and Russian was endemic of the times, and shows a dichotomy between the upper classes and the lower, downtrodden souls who resort to ultra-violence as their only means of escape. Thrilling work.

I'll be here all night.

Seriously, though, I am very interested in your work with the ESL program. I taught English in Japan for a year, and I would love to start up again around here. Do you use English in the classroom or do you only use English? I can't speak Spanish, but I've always wanted to learn.

Awesome Wayne's World costumes! Any plans yet for a Halloween outfit? I'm thinking of dressing up as the yip-yip alien from Sesame Street. You know: "Yep-yep-yep-yep-BRRRRING! BRRRRING!"

-AAK

Result: Nothing

Title: I Am a Balance Beam

Oh wait, balance beams don't actually have balance themselves... I mean I am a spinning gyroscope. I am all about balance.

My favorite sushi joint is Sushi Taro. Not because it has the best sushi. It's better than most places, but I don't know if it's the best. I like it because Japanese people won't go anywhere else. Most of the Japanese lawyers I know will only go there for business lunches or when their families come over. I get such a kick out of seeing them in the restaurant with their family or business partners; they all really enjoy it. They love the place. That's what makes it special, for me. You go in there and you feel like the restaurant is loved.

So what kind of camera are you rocking in that picture? Mine's a Nikon D300. I'm hoping to upgrade to a D700 as soon as I get some more photo gigs. D3's still out of my reach, though.

Result: Nothing.

Title: Monkeys

I wish I had a monkey picture. Why do all my friends have pictures of themselves with monkeys? Really. All my friends have shots of themselves cradling a chimp or bathing in a hot spring with Macaques or walking into the sunset holding a hairy hand. I'm jealous. How did you get your monkey pic?

I match you in all ways except the "cares about his job" part. I hate my current job, so I'm switching to part-time while I study to get into a career that I'm passionate (but not obsessed) about. So, if that's cool with you, drop me a line, eh?

-aak

Result: Nothing

So yeah. Match.com. Pretty lame so far. I'll try to get wackier in my emails as my paid-for time goes by. Look forward to THOSE, dear Reader.

Engagement Arrangement

2008-08-25T21:10:00.002-04:00

I'm so excited!

No, I'm not engaged. But my friend Ephraim* is. After forging his own set of rings out of molten gold (Aak: "So I guess you get a discount, for having to do all the work." Ephraim: "You'd think that, but you'd be wrong."), he finally proposed to his longtime ladyfriend. They're getting married next year on the West Coast.

I offered to do their engagement photos. For free. It's going to be awesome.** I have no idea how I'm going to do it, but it'll be awesome.

Except for the free part. It's okay this once. I like doing things for friends, so I try to give them some gratis photo shoots once in a while. Also, I need to embiggen my portfolio. I plan on asking a few friends to pose for practice head shots soon.

Before I made him this offer for free engagement photos, Ephraim offered to fly me to the West Coast if I would then photograph his wedding. Nope. Already did that for someone else, but never again. Weddings are a huge amount of labor for my kind. And although I desire portfolio-stuffing material, the thought of that much work for no pay makes me queasy.

I need some lights, light stands, umbrellas, and a D700... just kidding. I'll hold off on buying the new multi-thousand-dollar camera. For now.

*"Ephraim" is not his real name. I just wish I knew an Ephraim.

**"Ephraim" still has to clear it with the lady, but really, how can she say no? Free photos! Who could say no to that?

The Good People of Metro

2008-08-23T14:05:00.002-04:00

The good people of Metro are not jerks. They are not trying to be difficult with you. They are the best at what they do.

If it seems like none of the good people of Metro have the ability to reason or think beyond what they have been told, so much the better. For, if one of the good people of Metro started using his or her brain, then some Metro riders would be treated differently than others. That is not allowed. All must be treated with the same distance, monotone voice, and clear-cut rules.

For example: if you want to ride the Metro with a bike, you must not use the escalator. You must use the elevator. The rules are clearly stated. There is no third option. You must follow the rules.

There are some who might say that there are such things as "stairs." This is impossible. Stairs are not referred to in the rules. There are only "escalators" and "elevators."

Thus, if you attempt to carry your bicycle up a set of stairs (solid, stone, stationary stairs), one of the good people of Metro will automate herself over to you and announce the rules to you, like so:

"You cannot take your bicycle on the escalator."

There is no point in saying "But these are stairs," for the good woman of Metro will say:

"You cannot take your bicycle on the escalator. The elevators must be used at all times. You must use the elevator. You did not know. You need a pamphlet."

There is no point in saying "But stairs aren't the same as escalators," for she will say only:

"The elevators must be used. You did not know. The elevators must be used."

Thank you, good woman of Metro, for levelly dealing with all riders with the same dispassion, the same ruthless appeal to the rules, the same attention to the same language in every Metro station. Thank you, good people of Metro, for the purest form of public service: rendering every interaction lifeless, unimaginative, and most importantly, the same for everyone. All Hail the Good People of Metro!